Today's Seekers may be found here. http://www.slate.com/id/2242067/
1. The Sage is thunderstruck that you would dare consider doing anything to endanger this dear, precious, close friendship! Friends always share things. She just happened to share your husband. Rather, when you rent a house together for the next vacation - as you surely will - be certain to return the favor. Then, you can talk with your husband about starting a longterm 4-way. After all, what are friends for?
2. The Sage recommends that you take your wife out for dinner approximately every other night. After you have done this for about two weeks, complain of a cramp and go to a doctor. It's probable there is something else wrong with your digestive tract, but even if there is not, you can invent something when you get home. Tell her that the doctor has given you very specific instructions about what you may and may not eat, and that you would prefer to take over this chore, at least for your own meals, yourself.
3. The Sage once had the misfortune of being the first upon the scene of a young man who was killed instantly when his car rolled. (This is a true story.) The accident was on public property. However, about 30 days or so after the accident, a sign appeared alongside the memorials, informing everyone that on a given date, all of this paraphernalia would be reomved and discarded. This gave the loved ones a reasonable opportunity to take pictures of the memorial and to remove the items they had placed there. Late in the day on whatever date you choose for your own cleanup, discard whatever cannot be given to charity.
4. Long ago, the Sage completed a degree just as a recession took root in the economy. The Sage was contacted by many familiar individuals who appeared to be True Seekers, but when granted audience with the Sage, merely wished to filled the Mystic Cave with items which the Sage could neither use nor afford. Simple tell these misguided souls that you have no interest in any products or opportunities of this nature, and that while you are happy to meet them for social engagements, you would prefer they not contact you for business purposes. As for customers, tell them that you have your own investments, and that your financial advisor has forbidden you to take on any more.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Sage ruminates on MP3 players.
The Sage is naming names.
The Sage is in possession of no less than 3 MP3 players. The first was presented by the junior-most Minion, when he acquired a newer one for himself. This one, by Cowon, works very well and holds a charge a long time. It has an LCD display, but only has .5 Mb of storage. This was quite sufficient for the Sage at the time, until the Sage tired of replacing the MP3 regularly or else listening to the same tunes over and over. However, this easily randomized the entire library of tunes.
However, one day the Sage was perusing the clearance row, and acquired a Zen Stone Plus. Again, a fine player. The first one had a display problem, so the Sage returned it on warranty for a new one. The new one arrived promptly, but the Sage was saddened that the gimmicky color option which attracted the Sage to this player was not available for the replacement. This one had 2 Mb memory, much more than the Cowon. However, with the LED display, the charge didn't last as long. This player was only able to randomize the tunes in a given album, not the entire library.
Shortly after this, the Sage acquired a new radio for the Trancendental Carriage. This radio had two types of connectors for MP3 players, along with an "iPod tagging" button. The Cowon, sadly, would not play through either connector, but would charge through the MP3 connection. The Stone Plus played through the MP3 connection, and the Sage was able to search not only through individual songs, but also through entire albums with the push of a button.
The Chief Minion, however, felt that the Sage needed to be able to employ the iPod tagging feature, and found an excellent price on a Gen 4 iPod Nano, with 16 Mb of storage. The Sage initially was extremely pleased. However, the Sage's delight was not to last long.
First, the Sage has yet to finish working through the onerous instruction manual which accompanied the Nano. The tagging feature works well, and the Sage has even worked out how to view what has been tagged. At least 2 videos have been recorded, and there are 3 pre-installed games. However, the Sage is far less than pleased with iTunes.
Additionally, while the Sage is able to play the tunes through the radio, the iPod will not scroll through albums. Rather, the Sage must scroll through every tune contained within the 16 Mb to access desired tunes or albums. While the Nano randomizes the entire album, it appears to randomize the tunes in the exact same order every time. Nor can the Sage figure out how to get the recorded videos from the Nano to the compiter.
Worst of all, the Sage does not enjoy having to resync the entire 16 Mb every time the Sage wishes to add or delete a tune, involving searching through the entire computer's library of audio files, including such things as telephone messages saved for legal purposes. With both of the supposedly lesser brands, the Sage merely adds or deletes tunes or albums at will via the computer, or hits "delete" on the player itself whenever the Sage decides that a given tune should no longer be in the collection.
Bottom line, the Sage strongly endorses the other products, but highly recommends against the iPod.
The Sage is in possession of no less than 3 MP3 players. The first was presented by the junior-most Minion, when he acquired a newer one for himself. This one, by Cowon, works very well and holds a charge a long time. It has an LCD display, but only has .5 Mb of storage. This was quite sufficient for the Sage at the time, until the Sage tired of replacing the MP3 regularly or else listening to the same tunes over and over. However, this easily randomized the entire library of tunes.
However, one day the Sage was perusing the clearance row, and acquired a Zen Stone Plus. Again, a fine player. The first one had a display problem, so the Sage returned it on warranty for a new one. The new one arrived promptly, but the Sage was saddened that the gimmicky color option which attracted the Sage to this player was not available for the replacement. This one had 2 Mb memory, much more than the Cowon. However, with the LED display, the charge didn't last as long. This player was only able to randomize the tunes in a given album, not the entire library.
Shortly after this, the Sage acquired a new radio for the Trancendental Carriage. This radio had two types of connectors for MP3 players, along with an "iPod tagging" button. The Cowon, sadly, would not play through either connector, but would charge through the MP3 connection. The Stone Plus played through the MP3 connection, and the Sage was able to search not only through individual songs, but also through entire albums with the push of a button.
The Chief Minion, however, felt that the Sage needed to be able to employ the iPod tagging feature, and found an excellent price on a Gen 4 iPod Nano, with 16 Mb of storage. The Sage initially was extremely pleased. However, the Sage's delight was not to last long.
First, the Sage has yet to finish working through the onerous instruction manual which accompanied the Nano. The tagging feature works well, and the Sage has even worked out how to view what has been tagged. At least 2 videos have been recorded, and there are 3 pre-installed games. However, the Sage is far less than pleased with iTunes.
Additionally, while the Sage is able to play the tunes through the radio, the iPod will not scroll through albums. Rather, the Sage must scroll through every tune contained within the 16 Mb to access desired tunes or albums. While the Nano randomizes the entire album, it appears to randomize the tunes in the exact same order every time. Nor can the Sage figure out how to get the recorded videos from the Nano to the compiter.
Worst of all, the Sage does not enjoy having to resync the entire 16 Mb every time the Sage wishes to add or delete a tune, involving searching through the entire computer's library of audio files, including such things as telephone messages saved for legal purposes. With both of the supposedly lesser brands, the Sage merely adds or deletes tunes or albums at will via the computer, or hits "delete" on the player itself whenever the Sage decides that a given tune should no longer be in the collection.
Bottom line, the Sage strongly endorses the other products, but highly recommends against the iPod.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Sister won’t give up on her brother serving prison time.
No, this headline is not something the Sage wrote, but something which appeared atop an article which the Sage recently read. The Sage will not mention where it originated, lest the editors of said periodical be embarassed by their oversight. However, the Sage will comment on the various meanings of this headline.
First, this has the meaning which the writer intended. As one delves deeper into the article, one reads that the subject's brother is imprisoned, and subject hopes tobring to an end that incarceration. While the brother admitted committing a crime, the family feels that the punishment meted out does not fit the crime actually committed. The Sage will not analyze here whether the punishment is just or unjust.
Second, this headline has a meaning completely opposite what was intended. The Sage read this heading to one of the Minions, whose first stated impression was similar to the Sage's own first impression. The Sage immediately pictured a woman cruelly mistreated by her brother, who has sought legal respite from her plight, only to be denied the justice she sought. Still, the woman toils on, valiantly seeking her brother's incarceration.
The Sage believes that editors would do well to read at least their headlines aloud to someone not immediately familiar with what story is being presented, to verify the listener's reaction. Perhaps a better heading might have been, "Sister won't give up on imprisoned brother." Unless the editor believes that the readership is incapable of comprehending words of three or more syllables, this would have served as a much clearer headline, with the added benefit of greater brevity.
Better luck next time, Dear Editor.
First, this has the meaning which the writer intended. As one delves deeper into the article, one reads that the subject's brother is imprisoned, and subject hopes tobring to an end that incarceration. While the brother admitted committing a crime, the family feels that the punishment meted out does not fit the crime actually committed. The Sage will not analyze here whether the punishment is just or unjust.
Second, this headline has a meaning completely opposite what was intended. The Sage read this heading to one of the Minions, whose first stated impression was similar to the Sage's own first impression. The Sage immediately pictured a woman cruelly mistreated by her brother, who has sought legal respite from her plight, only to be denied the justice she sought. Still, the woman toils on, valiantly seeking her brother's incarceration.
The Sage believes that editors would do well to read at least their headlines aloud to someone not immediately familiar with what story is being presented, to verify the listener's reaction. Perhaps a better heading might have been, "Sister won't give up on imprisoned brother." Unless the editor believes that the readership is incapable of comprehending words of three or more syllables, this would have served as a much clearer headline, with the added benefit of greater brevity.
Better luck next time, Dear Editor.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
The Sage on "best and worst"
The article to which the Sage is responding may be found here:
http://www.slate.com/id/2240073/
The Sage will dispense with commenting on the items mentioned in passing. However, the "pollster" who wrote Prudie had no more a scientific poll than did Prudie. Researchers are well aware of respondents' tendency to give the answer they believe the pollster wants to hear. Even more likely is this to happen when the pollster is personally known to the respondent. Additionally. the phrasing of the question makes a major difference. For instance, the question could have been phrased from "You wash your bra every day, don't you?" to "Do you think it's a big deal if a woman doesn't wash her bra every day?" Both suggest answers, and neither Prudie nor her reader gave us the sampling along with the phrasing of the question.
The Sage is less patient with those who insist that anyone over the age of perhaps 6 needs to "grow up", by which they mean to give up any and all things which children might enjoy, regardless of whether adults might enjoy them or whether they even serve a useful purpose. The Sage wonders how many of these "mature" individuals have given up eating desserts or drinking soft drinks.
Neither does the Sage wish to revisit the polyamory or the prom. The Sage agrees that things things are a matter of personal preference, but agrees that children approaching adulthood certain have the right to express their own personal preferences in lifestyle changes which affect them. It is difficult enough to be a teenager, without adding fuel to the fire from which other youths will ridicule them.
The Sage appreciates Prudie's acknowledgement of her less than stellar answer to the dorm resident. The Sage agrees that a more responsible adult presence is in order in that place, but the resident is unlikely to be able to cause that to happen, short of having a parent who donated a wing to the school library. Intervention by a school advisor of some sort is certainly in order in this situation, both to calm the narc and to control the more flagrant violators.
http://www.slate.com/id/2240073/
The Sage will dispense with commenting on the items mentioned in passing. However, the "pollster" who wrote Prudie had no more a scientific poll than did Prudie. Researchers are well aware of respondents' tendency to give the answer they believe the pollster wants to hear. Even more likely is this to happen when the pollster is personally known to the respondent. Additionally. the phrasing of the question makes a major difference. For instance, the question could have been phrased from "You wash your bra every day, don't you?" to "Do you think it's a big deal if a woman doesn't wash her bra every day?" Both suggest answers, and neither Prudie nor her reader gave us the sampling along with the phrasing of the question.
The Sage is less patient with those who insist that anyone over the age of perhaps 6 needs to "grow up", by which they mean to give up any and all things which children might enjoy, regardless of whether adults might enjoy them or whether they even serve a useful purpose. The Sage wonders how many of these "mature" individuals have given up eating desserts or drinking soft drinks.
Neither does the Sage wish to revisit the polyamory or the prom. The Sage agrees that things things are a matter of personal preference, but agrees that children approaching adulthood certain have the right to express their own personal preferences in lifestyle changes which affect them. It is difficult enough to be a teenager, without adding fuel to the fire from which other youths will ridicule them.
The Sage appreciates Prudie's acknowledgement of her less than stellar answer to the dorm resident. The Sage agrees that a more responsible adult presence is in order in that place, but the resident is unlikely to be able to cause that to happen, short of having a parent who donated a wing to the school library. Intervention by a school advisor of some sort is certainly in order in this situation, both to calm the narc and to control the more flagrant violators.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Exit Sage left, even!
Most of the Seekers http://www.slate.com/id/2237851/ simply need to exit the situation.
1. The Sage assures you that you must never tell this child that Santa does not exist. One might as well claim that the Sage does not exist. Ensure that your son is so convinced of the existence or Mr. Claus, that he enters college still entrenched in this believe. Never permit doubt to surface. In this way, the boy can always trust you to tell him the whole, unvarnished truth as you see it, rather than the ridiculous truths he might hear from his friends or at school, such as the foolish notion that the Earth actually circles the sun, instead of the other way around. Of course, if you could instead tell your son that his father doesn't exist, he might have an easier life. The Sage suspects that "Papa" wanted to get out of buying such pricey presents in the future. Tell the boy that you believe, and that people's beliefs sometimes disagree, but you respect the father's right to believe what he wishes.
2. The Sage believes you should inform your coworkers that when you receive a $75 raise, you will be happy to contribute. The Sage in incensed that such a high figure should be placed upon brown-nosing the boss. In many companies, the total of this gift would exceed that permitted between employers and employees. If the boss encourages this excess, perhaps you should reconsider your position.
3. There is no gift like that from the heart. Since your husband has always been this way, the Sage feels you have little room to complain. However, rather than wasting your time finding a gift to be returned or your money purchasing an item to give away, bake your husband a special treat such as cookies or brownies. If you don't bake, buy some at your local bakery. He might not eat the present, but he will be unable to return them. While he could give them away, it is more likely that they will stay in your home for you, at least, to enjoy. Make sure these treats are something that you like, as well as being something he might eat.
4. The Sage cautions you to consider what you really want. If you want to spare your mother's feelings, then leave things as is. If your mother has a large estate you have been eyeing, certainly let her tell you how you must relate to her. However, with your brother especially, you have every right to be the person you are. Inform your brother - and your mother, if she can take it - that you feel devalued as a person and will no longer accept this treatment. Naturally, you will need to kiss the estate goodbye.
1. The Sage assures you that you must never tell this child that Santa does not exist. One might as well claim that the Sage does not exist. Ensure that your son is so convinced of the existence or Mr. Claus, that he enters college still entrenched in this believe. Never permit doubt to surface. In this way, the boy can always trust you to tell him the whole, unvarnished truth as you see it, rather than the ridiculous truths he might hear from his friends or at school, such as the foolish notion that the Earth actually circles the sun, instead of the other way around. Of course, if you could instead tell your son that his father doesn't exist, he might have an easier life. The Sage suspects that "Papa" wanted to get out of buying such pricey presents in the future. Tell the boy that you believe, and that people's beliefs sometimes disagree, but you respect the father's right to believe what he wishes.
2. The Sage believes you should inform your coworkers that when you receive a $75 raise, you will be happy to contribute. The Sage in incensed that such a high figure should be placed upon brown-nosing the boss. In many companies, the total of this gift would exceed that permitted between employers and employees. If the boss encourages this excess, perhaps you should reconsider your position.
3. There is no gift like that from the heart. Since your husband has always been this way, the Sage feels you have little room to complain. However, rather than wasting your time finding a gift to be returned or your money purchasing an item to give away, bake your husband a special treat such as cookies or brownies. If you don't bake, buy some at your local bakery. He might not eat the present, but he will be unable to return them. While he could give them away, it is more likely that they will stay in your home for you, at least, to enjoy. Make sure these treats are something that you like, as well as being something he might eat.
4. The Sage cautions you to consider what you really want. If you want to spare your mother's feelings, then leave things as is. If your mother has a large estate you have been eyeing, certainly let her tell you how you must relate to her. However, with your brother especially, you have every right to be the person you are. Inform your brother - and your mother, if she can take it - that you feel devalued as a person and will no longer accept this treatment. Naturally, you will need to kiss the estate goodbye.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Disbelieving Sage
The Sage is willing to believe many things, but these Seekers may be beyond the Pale.
http://www.slate.com/id/2237217/
1. The Sage recognizes your dilemma. Your choices are to continue with a poor housekeeper; to try a new, random housekeeper; or to trust a friend to attempt the job and augment their income, at least on a trial basis. By all means, tell your friends that you don't trust them to do a good job, ask a fair price, or leave your private belongings alone. Then, when they cease to be friends, they should be happy to work as unfriendly housekeepers for even less. Even a one month trial might be enough to make them think you care, so carefully avoid it.
2. The Sage no longer is surprised by who steals what from common refrigerators. Executives usually don't get to their positions by acting fairly or nicely to those equal to or beneath them professionally. Unless the culprit is called out in the act or a security camera is placed in front of the refrigerator, there is no way to accuse anyone and have it turn out well, particularly not someone in a position to terminate the accuser. The Sage, therefore, prefers the bait-and-hitch method of catching food thieves. Leave something in the refrigerator, commenting in ths person's presence how delicious it is, which leaves a non-toxic but embarassing surprise, such as a laxative or bright ink which will be noticeable on the culprit's mouth after the meal.
3. The Sage recognizes your terror in this issue, that you might actually come into contact with someone's germ, which you could so easily hide from it it came in the form of a sudden sneeze, If you have children over the age of 6, post one of them by the restroom in your home to stop each offender coming out of the bathroom without washing to request they complete the task. Be certain to post public health posters about the proper method of washing, usually reserved for food service employees. At work is trickier; perhaps you can borrow the previous Seeker's security camera after her thief has been exposed. How you might use this camera to suitably embarasser the unwashed masses without exposing yourself as the source of the pictures is up to you.
4. The Sage strongly urges you to show your schizophrenic brother your great trust of him. Have him help you polish the knives in your home or clean any weapons, and then ask. Certainly he will be amused at your distrust of him, given the strong lack of any evidence of evil-doing. I certain he would be more than happy to confess to this and many other crimes when confronted like this. With luck, he might even return to his previous state of madness, triggered by your question.
http://www.slate.com/id/2237217/
1. The Sage recognizes your dilemma. Your choices are to continue with a poor housekeeper; to try a new, random housekeeper; or to trust a friend to attempt the job and augment their income, at least on a trial basis. By all means, tell your friends that you don't trust them to do a good job, ask a fair price, or leave your private belongings alone. Then, when they cease to be friends, they should be happy to work as unfriendly housekeepers for even less. Even a one month trial might be enough to make them think you care, so carefully avoid it.
2. The Sage no longer is surprised by who steals what from common refrigerators. Executives usually don't get to their positions by acting fairly or nicely to those equal to or beneath them professionally. Unless the culprit is called out in the act or a security camera is placed in front of the refrigerator, there is no way to accuse anyone and have it turn out well, particularly not someone in a position to terminate the accuser. The Sage, therefore, prefers the bait-and-hitch method of catching food thieves. Leave something in the refrigerator, commenting in ths person's presence how delicious it is, which leaves a non-toxic but embarassing surprise, such as a laxative or bright ink which will be noticeable on the culprit's mouth after the meal.
3. The Sage recognizes your terror in this issue, that you might actually come into contact with someone's germ, which you could so easily hide from it it came in the form of a sudden sneeze, If you have children over the age of 6, post one of them by the restroom in your home to stop each offender coming out of the bathroom without washing to request they complete the task. Be certain to post public health posters about the proper method of washing, usually reserved for food service employees. At work is trickier; perhaps you can borrow the previous Seeker's security camera after her thief has been exposed. How you might use this camera to suitably embarasser the unwashed masses without exposing yourself as the source of the pictures is up to you.
4. The Sage strongly urges you to show your schizophrenic brother your great trust of him. Have him help you polish the knives in your home or clean any weapons, and then ask. Certainly he will be amused at your distrust of him, given the strong lack of any evidence of evil-doing. I certain he would be more than happy to confess to this and many other crimes when confronted like this. With luck, he might even return to his previous state of madness, triggered by your question.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Stuffed Sage
The Sage's parchment containing this week's admonitions was misplaced amongst all the hubbub. However, what was lost has been found. Please refer to this week's Seekers at http://www.slate.com/id/2236537/ .
1. The Sage embraces others' pursuit of a Higher Being. That said, you have the right to your own opinions. Will your boyfriend use religion to control your actions in other ways later in life, such as, "God told me that women should be seen and not heard"? The Sage is certain, however, that your love can overcome whatever barriers this man is placing before you, and that you will grow accustomed to his making edicts which to which you must adhere. When he reallizes that you are too free with your sexuality for him to marry, and he marries the first new woman at his church that he meets, you will be off the hook anyway.
2. The Sage recognizes that most people cannot control what involuntary noises emit from their bodies. By all means, start a campaign to let this woman know how annoying her snorting laugh is. She will then become so self-conscious that she is unlikely to laugh casually again, at least in the presence of her coworkers.
3. The Sage encourages you to lie on your father's behalf, provided that you are willing to support him when he becomes terminally unemployable over this ruse. Employers have not been permitted to "bad mouth" employees for years now, over concerns about legal proceedings concerning slander. However, feel free to go against your own moral code if you feel it will make your father love you.
4. The Sage is aware of the many layers of assistance most situations have before involving the law. Apartments generally have landlords, managers, or superintendents. Unless the brawlers are one of these people, consider turning there first. If you make a recording and enhance it with additional sound affects from whatever horror movie is on television that night, your problem should be resolved permanently.
1. The Sage embraces others' pursuit of a Higher Being. That said, you have the right to your own opinions. Will your boyfriend use religion to control your actions in other ways later in life, such as, "God told me that women should be seen and not heard"? The Sage is certain, however, that your love can overcome whatever barriers this man is placing before you, and that you will grow accustomed to his making edicts which to which you must adhere. When he reallizes that you are too free with your sexuality for him to marry, and he marries the first new woman at his church that he meets, you will be off the hook anyway.
2. The Sage recognizes that most people cannot control what involuntary noises emit from their bodies. By all means, start a campaign to let this woman know how annoying her snorting laugh is. She will then become so self-conscious that she is unlikely to laugh casually again, at least in the presence of her coworkers.
3. The Sage encourages you to lie on your father's behalf, provided that you are willing to support him when he becomes terminally unemployable over this ruse. Employers have not been permitted to "bad mouth" employees for years now, over concerns about legal proceedings concerning slander. However, feel free to go against your own moral code if you feel it will make your father love you.
4. The Sage is aware of the many layers of assistance most situations have before involving the law. Apartments generally have landlords, managers, or superintendents. Unless the brawlers are one of these people, consider turning there first. If you make a recording and enhance it with additional sound affects from whatever horror movie is on television that night, your problem should be resolved permanently.
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