Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sage sprouts

The Sage has emerged from the mystic cave this morning, eager to engage a new crop of Seekers, who may be found here

1. The first Seeker rents a room from a single woman slightly older than himself. One morning she appeared in his room while he was unclothed, and her conversations since have become more frequent and more personal.

The Sage believes you should pounce upon this opportunity at once. While the Sage certainly would not recommend that you violate the sanctity of your marital vows, you might make the landlady believe that you intend to. Make your discussions much more direct and salacious, and when she suggests something more, ask about a reduction of the rent. Once this is accomplished, install small deadbolts to each entrance of your quarters and avoid her at all costs.

2, The second Seeker has a daughter who is the product of an extramarital affair. The Seeker's wife adopted the child, and all seems well. However, nosy individuals want to know more details as to the child's origins.

Simply put, the Sage urges you to tell them that this information is personal and therefore is none of their business.

3. Next we have a Seeker who wishes to have drawn permanently upon his body a memorial to his late grandparents. His mother gets quite dramatic about her objection to tatooes.

The Sage wonders whether this is information you really must share with your mother. If she objects so, the tatoo might be placed somewhere that she would never need to see it. The Sage would be remiss not to add that while memorials are nice, one's body might not be the best place for them. Everyone has had parents; therefore, everyone has had grandparents, and there will undoubtedly be others in your life whom you will lose to death. Consider a memorial that would be more in keeping with their daughter's feelings, but you are free to do whatever you eventually decide.

4. Finally, we have a Seeker whose office mate microwaves oatmeal with tuna every morning. The Seeker suggests a variety of resolutions, including getting an air freshener for the Seeker's cubicle.

The Sage agrees that treating the air in your own cubicle is the most viable solution, especially if you can find one which continues to treat the air all day. Consider also adding a fan, in order to blow the odors back toward your office mate.