Thursday, June 17, 2010

Paternally Sage

The Sage acknowledges that occasions such as Mother's Day and especially Father's Day can be very trying for many Seekers. Not all Seekers had adequate parentage, and many had malignant guardians in their minority. Even so, the Sage will attempt to address the concerns of the following Seekers.

1. The Sage assures you to follow your instincts. You absolutely must let this child know, as soon as humanly possible, of his mother's slatternly ways and that his father is not his own. Armed with this knowledge, the child may at once begin to afford each of your the respect which you so solicitously have earned. With luck, you may even be able to secure child support for two unique sources.

2. The Sage is confident that you daughter will understand your coaching her brother and showing only a modicum of interest in her own endeavors. Knowing early on where on stands in regard to the affections of one's own parents can be a positive thing. If nothing else, she may save the costly expense of Father's Day gifts throughout her adulthood.

3. The Sage recognizes the need for meditative contemplations to maintain one's balance and harmony with the universe, even if this introspection includes a gallon of Rocky Road ice cream. However, your nearly-adult progeny are unable to invest in this same opportunity by be required to grace their father's home on such a regular basis. Many teenagers in households including both of the original and immediate progenitors rarely grace said household with their presence over an entire weekend. The Sage recommends that you convene a meeting with them to discuss what you options are and what is fair for each person. Armed with this knowledge, they may then approach their father about whether their presence is genuinely required on such a regular basis. At a minimum, they should be permitted as teenagers to continue about the usual age-appropriate activities, regardless of where they make their bed that night.

4. The Sage suggests that you inform your father that you cannot give a recommendationas to his qualifications as anyone's suitor, given that your own relationship with him necessarily precludes that parameter.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Journalistic Sage

The Sage is understandably dismayed that so many Seekers and their acquaintances have failed to grasp the simple concept that anything in writing, particularly that which is not anonymous, may and probably will eventually be held against the writer. This is the case for at least two individuals known by today's Seekers, who may be found here.

1. The Sage wonders whether the Seeker was up to no good as a teenager. If not, what sort of teenager were you, anyway? If you are female, it is perfectly natural for your mother not have gotten along with you. This is why Romans married off their daughters at age 12, and why wolves, lions, etc. chase away their young shortly after weaning. If you are male, you may have suffered from an Oedipal complex, and should remember that in the wild, some parents eat their young. In either case, the Sage suggests that you dig up your mother's corpse, flail it until it is but dust, and crush her marker so that no one may know where her remains had been. Additionally, take your daughter to the county clerk's office and have her name legally changed, regardless of her age or protestations. Naturally, lesser advisors would perhaps recommend that you accept that she died during a time of great upheaval in your life, and that she may have misunderstood your actions, perhaps filtering them through memories other teens she had known when she was younger. While you do not mention how your mother died, she may have had some mental disturbance which distorted her view of her assuredly perfect progeny.

2. The Sage recognizes that this woman needs to learn how to deal with her feelings toward her husband's shortcoming. You must stress that she is overacting. Should such an action occur in the future, you need to decide upon one of two responses. You may ignore her actions for a time, followed by a concerned, "Are you all right? Are you choking?" to force her to say what she is thinking. Alternately, you may change your top into the most revealing article you have in your possession. The Sage grants you permission to purchase something more revealing than you likely have at present, just to make your point. Neither you nor this man's wife are responsible for his thoughts nor his actions. You alone can impress this upon her enfeebled soul.

3. The Sage insists that you have issued a Cease and Desist order at once, followed by legal proceedings against her on grounds of defamation of character. While blogging may be an entertaining way for many to share their personal diaries - along with many private thoughts and emotions, your former flame needs to consider what may happen with an even less private journal, such as those of the mother of today's first Seeker. Do not lister to the advice of Lesser Advisors, who would have you empower this woman's neuroses concerning you.

4. The Sage agrees that you must protect this woman at all costs. Grovel to her manager and to the manager's supervisors, insisting that she remain with the company, to continue to cost the enterprise money with little return. Offer to permit her to assume your own position, if necessary. After all, her needs should be foremost in your mind, not whether the company is getting a return on its investment or whether your own household must to without in order to support her. The Sage is positive that this inept employee must be the first widow with college-aged children ever to seek employment, and must therefore be justly rewarded for her failed attempt to be productive. Certainly her college-aged children could not be expected to contribute to securing their own education, when this woman is still so able to procure such sympathies in Seekers like yourself. In the unlikely event that your prostrating yourself on her behalf does not achieve the desired results, you absolutely must inform her in advance of her impending doom. Sacrificing your own position and future employability is a small price to pay to give her a few extra days of preparation to secure alternate means to sustain her offsprings' comfortable lives.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A kinder and gentler Sage.

The Sage is now resettled in the Mystic Cave. The large carnivore which had taken up residence there has evacuated the premises, and all is well on the Astral Plane. Therefore, the Sage is offering kinder and gentler remarks than usual to this week's Seekers.

1. The Sage recommends that you let this go and learn to knock before entering Bill's office. The Sage is certain that most people, while alone in an otherwise empty office, engage in at least some activity which they would prefer others not see, even if the social faux pas is trimming one's toenails.

2. The Sage has ruled out having Jocko and the Wrench going over to consult with your ex. Therefore, your best course would be to sit your son down and tell him that if he has any questions about you or about your former marriage, that he should feel free to ask you at any time. You might add the caveat reminder that all people have the tendency to adjust the truth at times to make themselves look better, but only if you thin he will not take this as an admission that you intend to lie to him. If he continues to act sullen toward you, you must insist that he speak with you. You can tell him, without an admission of having looked into his personal writings, that you believe he is now old enough to hear what happened between his father and yourself. Include both positives and negatives about the relationship, and do not only cover what items about which the father has apparently altered the truth. At some point in his life, your son will most likely decide either to accept what you have told him or to put the entire matter in the past, where it belongs. His feelings that you and his father were forced to marry due to your pregnancy no doubt makes him feel as if he were unwanted, rather than the loved and cherished individual the Sage is certain that he is.

The Lesser Advisor, incidentally is mistaken. It is not inherently wrong for a loving parent to look at the writings of a minor child to determine whether they are still on the straight and narrow path. It would be wrong for a parent believing their child is having problems which they are not mature enough to handle not to use any resource at the parent's disposal to help the child. Directly attacking the father's credibility will only cause the child to defend the father and will further damage the parent's relationship with the child.

3. The Sage insists that you let these material items go. You have lost a book and a friend. They have lost a child and all of the future that they had envisioned for for this child. Buy a new book and enjoy the memories and mementoes of your friend which are currently in your possession.

4. The Sage suggests that your husband ask these well-meaning strangers why they ask as to his veteran status. If they callously mention his missing limb, he can inform them that the injury and his military service had nothing to with one another, or he can simply shake his head and walk away. If they say they merely wish to thank him for his service, he can answer, "You're welcome."

The Sage's Cardinal Minion served in the military and is disabled. He has been informed by many well-meaning people when he parks in a handicapped parking space that he can get a "disabled veteran" plate. However, like with your husband, this is incorrect; the disability for these plates must be service related, and the Cardinal Minion's disability is not.