Monday, November 28, 2011

Monday mumbling

1. The one someone should speak to would be your brother. She's doing nothing illegal, but if it isn't addressed sooner than later, it will be that much more difficult to address later. If there's someone else in the family with small children or who is a pediatrician, have them offer her viable options so that she doesn't have to sit outside her son's classroom once her starts kindergarten.

2. The girl was correct. Perhaps she could have phrased it better, but if the family must choose sides, I hope you choose on basis of ethics rather than inheritance.

3. This may well be a deal-breaker, and you need to tell her if it is. Why it's okay to have sex with her boyfriend but not her husband, is what you need to focus the discussion toward.

4. It's awkward for many people to fool around in their parents' homes. Tell him if you compromise and use a hotel, then he needs to insure you return to the house early enough to perform your usual agreed-upon chores.

5. NAQ

6. He wouldn't have kept them for so long had he not wished to share them, or he would have left a rider on his will stipulating what to do with them. Such journals are boons to historians, as they detail ordinary cusstoms which are usually considered to be too mundane to mention anywhere else.

7. Being a minor does limit your options. Enlist your parents' help with this, or the owner of whichever house the festivities are in. Explain thatyou need a few minutes now and then to regroup, and that you can be much better company if this is allowed. They can then stand guard and redirect anyone heading toward your room. (Announcing a walk means everyone else will want to come along. Homework means they'll tell you to put it off or offer to help.)

8. Respecting each other's individual differences is a wonderful way to show respect. Love him the way he needs to be loved, not the way you want him to love you.

9. Who picks the "child" each year? Perhaps it's time to specify some preferences about the child you will be sponsoring - such as under a certain age. This young man may be mentally handicapped and forever a child. Consider purchasing a good, used system.

10. Be honest. Maybe he will learn to be, as well. Tell him you found out he is still actively looking for someone else, so you have decided to, as well. An e-mail break-up is also acceptable in this situation.

11. You did nothing almost any other young child would not have done, including the lie you told. You and your friend should probably not have been unattended in the front yard at that age, until you both knew how to safely cross a street. Your parents probably should have found you a counsellor for a few session to sort out your grief and confusion. Since they did not, please do so now.

12. Assume MIL is losing her marbles, and let it go. Have her looked at by a competent gerontologist if you think she really is.

13. NAQ, but we never took on this type of charity, as the kids usually wanted things we couldn't afford to get our own family, much less one child.

14. NAQ

15. NAQ

16. NAQ. I won't add my other thoughts about Pru's response.

17. Please break up with her and tell her in breaking up that abuse is abuse. If you breed with her, your children will be given this same line of bull; but she'll tell them how it's okay for parents to hit children for discipline, but not the other way around.

18. Don't mention it. It will only bring up unpleasant memories.

19. Say, "don't you have anything better to do?" Then tell HR that you feel this is a form of sexual harassment, if they don't desist.

20. You should have told them to quit bullying the other children (as often as necessary), then left it up to them to decide to move elsewhere. If the parents then objected, tell them that if they can't keep their kids in line, you will make sure the others are safe.
21. They probably wouldn't have given it to you if they couldn't afford it. (Are they showing signs of dementia?) If you really feel bad about taking it, or think they can't afford it, convince your husband to put it into a CD, which you can use to help them if they run out of money.
22. NAQ

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Early morning Sage

Today's Seekers may be found here:

1. The Sage wonders whether this is truly a complain, or whether you are engaging in self adulation. Spend less time worrying about these comments and do your work. Some fawning on the part of others no doubt contributes to your success; however, this is fleeting. More importantly, you must learn to distinguish between joviality and solemnity.

V. The Sage commends you on your practicality in recognizing that your dog will likely predecease you, but would remind you that if you are approaching the halfway point in your life, so will half of the people youcare about. Unless you also dwell on the future funeral plans for your parents and other loved ones, try to enjoy your canine companion while you may. On a more cheerful note, it is entirely possible that you will actually predecease your dog.

2. The Sage would remind you that you are now an adult and have options other than returning to your parents to feed you for this holiday. You may, with the Sage's blessing, inform them that you have other plans this year. If you parents have other redeeming qualities, or if you have other relatives who regularly gather to be with them, consider going every two or three years, but make it clear that as an adult, it is now tome to begin making your own holiday traditions. Perhaps this will include assisting at a community celebration which includes those who have less for which to be thankful.

3. The Sages suggests that you tell your husband, "I take the bus in order to save us money, while Elaine has a good job and can afford to get her own car waxed." Explain that this is one favor too many for your marital comfort. In the Sage's long existence, never has the Sage has an automobile waxed, yet the Sage's modes of transportation have always looked clean and lustrous.

4. The Sage will permit you to be less of a good listener with you safe and privileged crowd, provided that once one of these individuals does face an actual crisis, you remain available to comfort them. Naturally, finding a different crown with which to hang is also perfectly acceptable.