Most of the Seekers http://www.slate.com/id/2237851/ simply need to exit the situation.
1. The Sage assures you that you must never tell this child that Santa does not exist. One might as well claim that the Sage does not exist. Ensure that your son is so convinced of the existence or Mr. Claus, that he enters college still entrenched in this believe. Never permit doubt to surface. In this way, the boy can always trust you to tell him the whole, unvarnished truth as you see it, rather than the ridiculous truths he might hear from his friends or at school, such as the foolish notion that the Earth actually circles the sun, instead of the other way around. Of course, if you could instead tell your son that his father doesn't exist, he might have an easier life. The Sage suspects that "Papa" wanted to get out of buying such pricey presents in the future. Tell the boy that you believe, and that people's beliefs sometimes disagree, but you respect the father's right to believe what he wishes.
2. The Sage believes you should inform your coworkers that when you receive a $75 raise, you will be happy to contribute. The Sage in incensed that such a high figure should be placed upon brown-nosing the boss. In many companies, the total of this gift would exceed that permitted between employers and employees. If the boss encourages this excess, perhaps you should reconsider your position.
3. There is no gift like that from the heart. Since your husband has always been this way, the Sage feels you have little room to complain. However, rather than wasting your time finding a gift to be returned or your money purchasing an item to give away, bake your husband a special treat such as cookies or brownies. If you don't bake, buy some at your local bakery. He might not eat the present, but he will be unable to return them. While he could give them away, it is more likely that they will stay in your home for you, at least, to enjoy. Make sure these treats are something that you like, as well as being something he might eat.
4. The Sage cautions you to consider what you really want. If you want to spare your mother's feelings, then leave things as is. If your mother has a large estate you have been eyeing, certainly let her tell you how you must relate to her. However, with your brother especially, you have every right to be the person you are. Inform your brother - and your mother, if she can take it - that you feel devalued as a person and will no longer accept this treatment. Naturally, you will need to kiss the estate goodbye.