Today's Seekers are all a-dither regarding celebration - or not - of Christmas, wiht one Seeker unsure of how to act parental. The Seekers may be found here. http://www.slate.com/id/2276212/
1. The first Seeker wishes to know whether her sexually unfulfilled husband should visit a dominatrix.
The Sage is aware that the Lesser Advisor miscontrued your actual question. Rather than asking whether he should make these visits, you are asking whether he should be permitted to do so. If you are already able to control your husband's actions even when he is not with you to conform to your desires, then he is already married to one. You might ask yourself whether either conforming to his desires or dissolving the marriage would be less expensive than his regular visits to a professional.
2. The second Seeker has been lying to avoid telling her daughter's grandmother that the grandmother's multiple accidents make her ineligible to drive with said child in the vehicle.
The Sage will make the rare recommendation that you provide the whole truth. Inform the dear lady that you trust her with your child - until an automobile is involved, on grounds of her driving record. Suggest that she have her eyes and ears test. If nothing is discovered which can be easily remedied to improve her driving abilities, set your foot down as a parent and tell her absolutely no to transporting your child. Better yet, have her son explain it to her. Perhaps he will understand that the welfare of his child is more important than confrontation avoidance. In any case, perhaps it is time for the licensing agency to reconsider her driving privilege, if this has not happened already.
3. The next Seeker is a non-Christian who has unsuccessfully complained about the company's religiously based Christmas festivities.
The Sage suggests that you fight fire with fire. Rather than having a discreet display of your own faith or practices, go all out this year. For instance, Hannukah has already begun, but you might stil bring an enormous Mennorah to work, place it just outside your cubible or unavoidably nisible to those passing your office, with candles sufficiently large to burn the entire time that you are at work each day. Play music of the holiday or festival which you do celebrate loudly enough for everyone in the office to hear, but not quite loudly enough for anyone to make out any of the words, unless the songs are not in English. When management comes to ask you to tone down your celebration at work, innocently proclaim that you believed this was encouraged, based upon the activities already being endorsed by the company.
Ignore Lesser Advisors who feel that religiously-based activities, as opposed to secular ones, are perfectly acceptable in the workplace, just because they eventually end.
4. The final Seeker for today worries about offending in-laws who wish to celebrate Christmas by treating the Seeker and spouse to a trip which they do not relish.
The Sage see no dilemma here. Tell them simply that you appreciate the more than generous offer, but are unable to make the trip with them.
Lesser Advisors need to recognize that destination weddings require the guests to pay their own travel expenses, and therefore are not comparable to this issue.
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Thank you for mentioning the financial angle regarding C1. I suspect it will sink the couple in ways they do not anticipate, even if nothing else does.
ReplyDeleteAs for C4, if H4's parents are really the sort of people who have gotten away with such things as turning an occasion that generally runs a course of between, say, six hours and two overnights into something that will probably consume at least four days, I find it hard to believe that this is the first occasion that the conflicting family styles have caused serious marital friction, and impossible to believe that it will be the last.
Oh Sage, you have proved true to form on half of this weeks letters, namely LW1 and LW3. (And oh, how I relish the weeks that I have a chance to access your wisdom from my unrestricted home internet!)
ReplyDeleteAlthough I shudder with fear on differing with The Sage Advice, I wonder why The Sage did not suggest alternatives to LW2 an LW4. It seems that a life insurance policy suggestion would be in order for LW2 and a bankroll would be in order for LW4.
And of course, The Sage offered Sagely Advice for the others. :)
The Sage may have suggested a large policy had the Second Seeker been writing on behalf of an adult grandchild or her husband riding with the grandmother. However, the Sage countenances no injury or endangerment to minors, particularly very young ones.
ReplyDeleteThe Sage will, however, reconsider the advice dispensed to the Final Seeker. A better solution might be to accept the bankroll from the in-laws and to merely pretend to gamble it all away. If they mention not having seen the Seeker and her husband, conveniently explain that they had sought the challenge of a neighboring casino.
Oh Great Wise One, I admire you for not being flumoxed by this week's seekers.
ReplyDeleteThe lesser person that I am, upon reading those letters, feels like throwing something at somebody, anybody?
Also got me intrigued about the profession of dominatrix. Is there an age limit?