Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Sage suffers Self-Serving Seekers

Today's Seekers may be found here:

1. The first Seeker has been seeking out prostitutes to make up for a deficiency in his home sex life.

The Sage admires your flexibility and ingenuity in finding a solution which appears to meet your personal needs. However, since not all prostitutes are equal, the Sage would remind you that when you put your spouse at risk for STDs - as you are doing - then you must receive consent from your spouse or relieve yourself from responsibility to said spouse. Alternately, wait until that burning itch she develops results in a positive STD test and watch various items hitting the proverbial fan.

2. The second Seeker feels too inadequate to attend a 50+ year high school reunion, having once been voted "most likely to succeed."

The Sage would remind the Seeker that success if in the eye of the beholder. If you are/were happy in your career, have a successful relationship with your spouse, and your children - if any - are respectable, self-sufficient adults, then you are far more successful than most.

3. The next Seeker accidentally received an e-mail from his son expressing the son's apparent unhappiness at the Seeker's impending visit.

The Sage will answer simply: Yes, you did overreact. Individuals of your son's age use highly expressive language when expressing an inability to carry through with a previous engagement, as your son appears to have done with his girlfriend. Apologize for your over-reaction, and next time, ignore the mis-sent e-mail.

4. Today's final Seeker is expected to host a drunken friend who is celebrating a brithday for the entire weekend, and who is angry that the Seeker wishes to include her boyfriend.

The Sage does not believe that you were out of line to inform a self-invited guest that you wish to include someone else at a non-event of this nature. As your boyfriend is not welcome at the bar with your and "the girls", tell your friend what time after your evening spent elsewhere with your boyfriend you will be home in order to let her in for the night.

1 comment:

  1. Yeah! I worried about missing out on the Sage pronouncements and thus having to go about my life in a ruderless boat.....