The Sage has been speechless the last few days and therefore unable to address this week's Seekers. However, with the assistance of one the the Sage's more vocal Minions, this will be remedied now. As the Sage was unable to speak previously, credit is given to other views postulated by other Advisors.
The Seekers may be found here: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/01/i_farted_in_front_of_my_boyfriend_.single.html
1. The Sage would note that people naturally have gas in their digestive systems, which naturally comes out, one way or the other. If your boyfriend expects a woman who is not a real person, perhaps he would be better off purchasing a Stepford Wife. (The Sage is referring to the type from the book, not from the movie.)
2. The Sage recommends that when someone states that they do not wish to discuss a confidence earlier shared, that the individual means just that. Do not discuss this further, and do not act differently than you did before. When she is ill enough for this to impact her ability to perform as a professional and as a mother, she will then do what needs to be done. Ignore the advice of the busybody Lesser Advisor.*
*Another Advisor has rightfully pointed out that perhaps this individual made up this tale while tipsy, and is now embarassed at the fabrication.
3. The Sage suspects there is a reason that you went to live with your grandmother rather than with your own father, and that you now have seen only a part of the reason. Remind your girlfriend that if you were not with her, you might well be with some other woman, and your father's reaction would be the same. You both need to write him off for the overzealous bigot that he apparently is.
4. The Sage is rather surprised at this alleged dilemma; although, it most certainly does happen that people sometimes hide their income, or else live in a valuable property that they can ill afford to keep.** Be assured that those in the position of making a final decision regarding her financial assistance research the backgrounds of their candidates thoroughly, including determining their applicants' parents approximate net worth. This is not your responsibility.
** Other Advisors have correctly mentioned that people often live on the properties of friends, relatives, employers, or even as boarders; without the owners' income being part of that of the residents'. Others have pointed out that even well-off students may need assistance to attend certain private institutions.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Sage replies to Monday's Seekers from Tuesday on Wednesday
1. The Sage wonders whether your ex is the gentleman who consulted the Lesser Advisor some time back, inquiring about the wisdom of having sex with the nanny. Your focus does need to be your offspring. The only way to control who their step-mother will be would to ensure that no step-mother is possible. However, homicide might also remove the possibility of them having a mother, as well.
2. The Sage agrees that recipients of gifts must show some appreciation. Perhaps your aunt has gone around a bend most of us would prefer to avoid, and this is why your uncle has finally intervened. Should you receive an old calendar in the future, thank her for the pretty pictures. Some people who do crafts appreciate a good, out of date calendar.
3. The Sage recommends that you and your son each poffer a sincere apology for the accident. In your apology, admit that the item was irreplaceable, but resist the temptation to mention that such treasures should not be left where children might accidentally crash into them.
4. The Sage wonders why your assurance was that you would not tell - yet later did - rather than that someone who truly loves her would forgive her behavior, especially if it was not repeated. Explain now that the boy was upset, and when people are upset, they try and usually succeed to hurt the other person's feelings. The Sage suspects you have unusually high expectations for this small child.
5. The Sage does not believe that your desire to meet your children's new sibling is unreasonable, but does agree that it might be better for you to wait until the child has arrived home, unless an explicit invitation has been extended for you to join the family at the hospital. If you are not sure whether such an invitation to the children was meant to include you, you have the Sage's permission to ask the parents-to-be.
6. The Sage thanks you for not rudely pointing out to your father and uncle how rude they were being to share a private joke in a large setting, much less to be using the cell phone at dinner. Let it go. Perhaps try to separate these children at the next family meal.
7. Which Minion let you in here?
8. You are late. Also, Seekers may only visit the Mystic Cave once with the same concern, especially if it has been resolved. However, grandparents who measure their love for a grandchild based on her newly-revealed biology do not deserve a relationship with her.
9. The Sage must remind you that you have no rights regarding your ex's legally made decisions. Be assured that if she were not of legal majority, he would not be seen in public with her. Under no circumstance may you consider using your children as spies, so do not ask.
10. The Sage disagrees that this woman is your friend. A friend would know that you would have been divorced by now, and would be happy that you are moving on with your life.
11. Again, the Sage must remind you that you have no rights regarding your husband's legally made decisions. Unless you believe your children will be lying awake while your husband and his girlfriend copulate, this is none of your business; it is at least not your place to instruct him on correct behavior.
Any other Seekers gathered at the Mystic Cave to ask how to control an ex's behavior with his or her new love, please leave now.
12. The Sage wonders how you surmised that she forced your father's hand. Perhaps she is retaining your father's estate only until her own death, at which time, the remaining estate will be divided between the progeny both of herself and of your father.
13. The Sage will reply that when your children's emotional well-being is at stake, you must be direct and forthcoming. Explain to your bride that the two of you immediately will taking courses or counselling to help you each know what to expect of the children and how properly to deal with them. Add that this is non-negotiable.
14. The Sage suggests that you continue to see your father when your brother does, so that he is not overwhelmed by your father's beliefs. Once you are both of age, you may each do as you wish regarding this relationship. Your father's mind is made up, and he does not wish to be confused with facts, such as that he was not refused permission to see each of you, despite of his warped opinions.
15. The Sage would prefer that you speak privately with this person and explain that this behavior was ill advised, but not as ill advised as posting this picture in a public place. Encourage her to remove the picture and not to repeat the behavior.
2. The Sage agrees that recipients of gifts must show some appreciation. Perhaps your aunt has gone around a bend most of us would prefer to avoid, and this is why your uncle has finally intervened. Should you receive an old calendar in the future, thank her for the pretty pictures. Some people who do crafts appreciate a good, out of date calendar.
3. The Sage recommends that you and your son each poffer a sincere apology for the accident. In your apology, admit that the item was irreplaceable, but resist the temptation to mention that such treasures should not be left where children might accidentally crash into them.
4. The Sage wonders why your assurance was that you would not tell - yet later did - rather than that someone who truly loves her would forgive her behavior, especially if it was not repeated. Explain now that the boy was upset, and when people are upset, they try and usually succeed to hurt the other person's feelings. The Sage suspects you have unusually high expectations for this small child.
5. The Sage does not believe that your desire to meet your children's new sibling is unreasonable, but does agree that it might be better for you to wait until the child has arrived home, unless an explicit invitation has been extended for you to join the family at the hospital. If you are not sure whether such an invitation to the children was meant to include you, you have the Sage's permission to ask the parents-to-be.
6. The Sage thanks you for not rudely pointing out to your father and uncle how rude they were being to share a private joke in a large setting, much less to be using the cell phone at dinner. Let it go. Perhaps try to separate these children at the next family meal.
7. Which Minion let you in here?
8. You are late. Also, Seekers may only visit the Mystic Cave once with the same concern, especially if it has been resolved. However, grandparents who measure their love for a grandchild based on her newly-revealed biology do not deserve a relationship with her.
9. The Sage must remind you that you have no rights regarding your ex's legally made decisions. Be assured that if she were not of legal majority, he would not be seen in public with her. Under no circumstance may you consider using your children as spies, so do not ask.
10. The Sage disagrees that this woman is your friend. A friend would know that you would have been divorced by now, and would be happy that you are moving on with your life.
11. Again, the Sage must remind you that you have no rights regarding your husband's legally made decisions. Unless you believe your children will be lying awake while your husband and his girlfriend copulate, this is none of your business; it is at least not your place to instruct him on correct behavior.
Any other Seekers gathered at the Mystic Cave to ask how to control an ex's behavior with his or her new love, please leave now.
12. The Sage wonders how you surmised that she forced your father's hand. Perhaps she is retaining your father's estate only until her own death, at which time, the remaining estate will be divided between the progeny both of herself and of your father.
13. The Sage will reply that when your children's emotional well-being is at stake, you must be direct and forthcoming. Explain to your bride that the two of you immediately will taking courses or counselling to help you each know what to expect of the children and how properly to deal with them. Add that this is non-negotiable.
14. The Sage suggests that you continue to see your father when your brother does, so that he is not overwhelmed by your father's beliefs. Once you are both of age, you may each do as you wish regarding this relationship. Your father's mind is made up, and he does not wish to be confused with facts, such as that he was not refused permission to see each of you, despite of his warped opinions.
15. The Sage would prefer that you speak privately with this person and explain that this behavior was ill advised, but not as ill advised as posting this picture in a public place. Encourage her to remove the picture and not to repeat the behavior.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Happy HoliSage
The Sage is on holiday for the next week or so. However, since the Minions have gone to such trouble to make the Mystic Cave festive for the occasion, here are this week's Seekers:
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2011/12/christmas_advice_on_changing_traditions_estranged_relatives_religious_hypocrisy_and_unwanted_gifts_.single.html
1. The Sage understands that you do not wish life to change beyond what existed when you were a wee tot, and are justifyably angry that your sister-in-law dare wish to be with her own original family while including her husband's original family. The Sage can only comfort you with the thought that sometimes, entire households are erased when travelling during the holidays, particularly if conditions are poor or if the driver or a driver encountered has been imbibing excessively.
V. The Sage womders why you would care so to get the entire family together, when by your own admission, none of you get along. Rather than trying desperately to have someone invite the combatants - or rather your relatives - drive across town to descend upon a single individual's home, locate a restaurant which will be open on Christmas Day and which will tolerate the lot of you occupying a reasonable section of the establishment for the short time in which all parties will be able to restrain their impulses to quarrel.
2. The Sage recognizes that many families have one or more member who simply refuses to get along with the others, and that this person may later seek forgiveness from those whom he or she has wronged. You are not evil to wish to avoid contact with this person. However, you cannot accept his largesse silently. If you intend to maintain your concerned distanced, you must return the gifts with a polite note that you prefer not to reignite this relationship. Keeping them only tells him that you are both rude and avaricious.
3. The Sage too wonders why your entire family must be dragged to a religious service twice a year, when not even your hosts take their religion seriously. However, you are not free to change the habits of anyone but yourself and any minor children you happen to have brought along. Infrom your family that you have made other plans during this time slot. You may imply that you will be meeting with an old friend, even if your plans consist entirely of driving around the block until they are gone and returning to read a good book.
4. The Sage is please that around the age of thirty, you and your sister are finally adults. Your aunt and uncle care about you, but acknowledge that they do not know you well enough to select a gift which would be meaningful to either of you. The Sage continued to receive two small bills in a birthday card every year from a sainted grandmother until the day the grandmother died. If you feel silly accepting the checks, write an equal one to the charity of your choice.
(The Lesser Advisor also gave excellent advice to this Seeker.)
The Sage will now retreat back into the Mystic Cave to continue holiday festivities, and hopes to re-emerge in or about the new year. May all Minions, Acolytes, and Seekers have a safe and pleasant year's end.
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2011/12/christmas_advice_on_changing_traditions_estranged_relatives_religious_hypocrisy_and_unwanted_gifts_.single.html
1. The Sage understands that you do not wish life to change beyond what existed when you were a wee tot, and are justifyably angry that your sister-in-law dare wish to be with her own original family while including her husband's original family. The Sage can only comfort you with the thought that sometimes, entire households are erased when travelling during the holidays, particularly if conditions are poor or if the driver or a driver encountered has been imbibing excessively.
V. The Sage womders why you would care so to get the entire family together, when by your own admission, none of you get along. Rather than trying desperately to have someone invite the combatants - or rather your relatives - drive across town to descend upon a single individual's home, locate a restaurant which will be open on Christmas Day and which will tolerate the lot of you occupying a reasonable section of the establishment for the short time in which all parties will be able to restrain their impulses to quarrel.
2. The Sage recognizes that many families have one or more member who simply refuses to get along with the others, and that this person may later seek forgiveness from those whom he or she has wronged. You are not evil to wish to avoid contact with this person. However, you cannot accept his largesse silently. If you intend to maintain your concerned distanced, you must return the gifts with a polite note that you prefer not to reignite this relationship. Keeping them only tells him that you are both rude and avaricious.
3. The Sage too wonders why your entire family must be dragged to a religious service twice a year, when not even your hosts take their religion seriously. However, you are not free to change the habits of anyone but yourself and any minor children you happen to have brought along. Infrom your family that you have made other plans during this time slot. You may imply that you will be meeting with an old friend, even if your plans consist entirely of driving around the block until they are gone and returning to read a good book.
4. The Sage is please that around the age of thirty, you and your sister are finally adults. Your aunt and uncle care about you, but acknowledge that they do not know you well enough to select a gift which would be meaningful to either of you. The Sage continued to receive two small bills in a birthday card every year from a sainted grandmother until the day the grandmother died. If you feel silly accepting the checks, write an equal one to the charity of your choice.
(The Lesser Advisor also gave excellent advice to this Seeker.)
The Sage will now retreat back into the Mystic Cave to continue holiday festivities, and hopes to re-emerge in or about the new year. May all Minions, Acolytes, and Seekers have a safe and pleasant year's end.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Sage and the Familial Seekers
Today's Seekers may be found here. http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2011/12/boyfriend_is_allergic_to_cats_should_i_give_mine_up_.html
1. The Sage appreciates your concern for the welfare of your cat, and your desire to be with the man whom you love. Remember that it will be more satisfying to relocate the cat and visit him regularly, than to find a new lover for your gentleman friend and to hope for visitation rights.
2. The Sage would point out that many individuals never receive gifts - spontaneous or toherwise - from the objects of their affection. Accept that he is loving you in the way that he is able to love you. Begin reminding him a week or so before special events, so that he may rush out and buy or hurry and order your gifts in time for you to receive them on your special day.
3. The Sage is pleased that you and your husband have been able to work out your religious differences in a way that works for you. As you have already explained to your son that Grandma and Grandpa selebrate different holidays than you do, permit him to share their joy in opening a present on "their" holiday. Most children care little for the wrapping paper of a gift, and simple want to rip it off to see what is beneath. Adding a holiday not your own should not lessen the joy of your own celebrations, particularly as you are active in your religious practices with him.
4. The Sage recognizes that many people have literal dreams of their childhood places, and that many adults dream of a return to those carefree years, when they were not expected to make important decisions or to fend for themselves. However, the Sage assures you that were you to enter the house now, even if it were completely empty, it would only disturb those happy memories with thoughts of, "When did they move that wall?" "The bed belongs near the window, not there!" and "I can believe how run down this place looks!" Cherish the memories and peruse photographs from your childhood. There is a reason for the expression, "You can't go home again."
1. The Sage appreciates your concern for the welfare of your cat, and your desire to be with the man whom you love. Remember that it will be more satisfying to relocate the cat and visit him regularly, than to find a new lover for your gentleman friend and to hope for visitation rights.
2. The Sage would point out that many individuals never receive gifts - spontaneous or toherwise - from the objects of their affection. Accept that he is loving you in the way that he is able to love you. Begin reminding him a week or so before special events, so that he may rush out and buy or hurry and order your gifts in time for you to receive them on your special day.
3. The Sage is pleased that you and your husband have been able to work out your religious differences in a way that works for you. As you have already explained to your son that Grandma and Grandpa selebrate different holidays than you do, permit him to share their joy in opening a present on "their" holiday. Most children care little for the wrapping paper of a gift, and simple want to rip it off to see what is beneath. Adding a holiday not your own should not lessen the joy of your own celebrations, particularly as you are active in your religious practices with him.
4. The Sage recognizes that many people have literal dreams of their childhood places, and that many adults dream of a return to those carefree years, when they were not expected to make important decisions or to fend for themselves. However, the Sage assures you that were you to enter the house now, even if it were completely empty, it would only disturb those happy memories with thoughts of, "When did they move that wall?" "The bed belongs near the window, not there!" and "I can believe how run down this place looks!" Cherish the memories and peruse photographs from your childhood. There is a reason for the expression, "You can't go home again."
Thursday, December 1, 2011
(Pre-)Winter Sage
1. The Sage cries Poppycock! You have enough genetic information about your family from your father and siblings, which is more than many people have now, and as much as most people had in the early 1950's. Admit to yourself that you are simply overly curious. Feel free to test yourself for the gene carrying your niece's disease, but respect your father's wishes and make no inquiries as to his origins until his hopefully distant demise.
2. The Sage would point out that whether your husband flushes or rinses, water is still going down the drain when he urinates. This is a disgusting and juvenile habit which he needs to stop right now. Purchase him a male portable urinal and suggest he carry it around, and once he pours the full container into a toilet, to feel proud that he saved the water for a couple of extra flushes.
3. The Sage will not give you permission to harm this woman farther. She either does not know of the affair, or more likely, has accepted that her husband was unfaithful and has put it behind her. Telling her about it now in the form of an apology would serve no usefull purpose. Speak to someone to help you get over your obsession with this man, made evident by your compulsion to search the Internet for information about him.
4. The Sage suggests that you invite this friend and her fiance to a dinner with only a few people she actually knows well, preferably just you with your partner and she with hers. You admit that she is very shy. Having a fiance does not change her character; it only provides additional support from a loving man when she does find herself unexpectedly out of her element.
2. The Sage would point out that whether your husband flushes or rinses, water is still going down the drain when he urinates. This is a disgusting and juvenile habit which he needs to stop right now. Purchase him a male portable urinal and suggest he carry it around, and once he pours the full container into a toilet, to feel proud that he saved the water for a couple of extra flushes.
3. The Sage will not give you permission to harm this woman farther. She either does not know of the affair, or more likely, has accepted that her husband was unfaithful and has put it behind her. Telling her about it now in the form of an apology would serve no usefull purpose. Speak to someone to help you get over your obsession with this man, made evident by your compulsion to search the Internet for information about him.
4. The Sage suggests that you invite this friend and her fiance to a dinner with only a few people she actually knows well, preferably just you with your partner and she with hers. You admit that she is very shy. Having a fiance does not change her character; it only provides additional support from a loving man when she does find herself unexpectedly out of her element.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday mumbling
1. The one someone should speak to would be your brother. She's doing nothing illegal, but if it isn't addressed sooner than later, it will be that much more difficult to address later. If there's someone else in the family with small children or who is a pediatrician, have them offer her viable options so that she doesn't have to sit outside her son's classroom once her starts kindergarten.
2. The girl was correct. Perhaps she could have phrased it better, but if the family must choose sides, I hope you choose on basis of ethics rather than inheritance.
3. This may well be a deal-breaker, and you need to tell her if it is. Why it's okay to have sex with her boyfriend but not her husband, is what you need to focus the discussion toward.
4. It's awkward for many people to fool around in their parents' homes. Tell him if you compromise and use a hotel, then he needs to insure you return to the house early enough to perform your usual agreed-upon chores.
5. NAQ
6. He wouldn't have kept them for so long had he not wished to share them, or he would have left a rider on his will stipulating what to do with them. Such journals are boons to historians, as they detail ordinary cusstoms which are usually considered to be too mundane to mention anywhere else.
7. Being a minor does limit your options. Enlist your parents' help with this, or the owner of whichever house the festivities are in. Explain thatyou need a few minutes now and then to regroup, and that you can be much better company if this is allowed. They can then stand guard and redirect anyone heading toward your room. (Announcing a walk means everyone else will want to come along. Homework means they'll tell you to put it off or offer to help.)
8. Respecting each other's individual differences is a wonderful way to show respect. Love him the way he needs to be loved, not the way you want him to love you.
9. Who picks the "child" each year? Perhaps it's time to specify some preferences about the child you will be sponsoring - such as under a certain age. This young man may be mentally handicapped and forever a child. Consider purchasing a good, used system.
10. Be honest. Maybe he will learn to be, as well. Tell him you found out he is still actively looking for someone else, so you have decided to, as well. An e-mail break-up is also acceptable in this situation.
11. You did nothing almost any other young child would not have done, including the lie you told. You and your friend should probably not have been unattended in the front yard at that age, until you both knew how to safely cross a street. Your parents probably should have found you a counsellor for a few session to sort out your grief and confusion. Since they did not, please do so now.
12. Assume MIL is losing her marbles, and let it go. Have her looked at by a competent gerontologist if you think she really is.
13. NAQ, but we never took on this type of charity, as the kids usually wanted things we couldn't afford to get our own family, much less one child.
14. NAQ
15. NAQ
16. NAQ. I won't add my other thoughts about Pru's response.
17. Please break up with her and tell her in breaking up that abuse is abuse. If you breed with her, your children will be given this same line of bull; but she'll tell them how it's okay for parents to hit children for discipline, but not the other way around.
18. Don't mention it. It will only bring up unpleasant memories.
19. Say, "don't you have anything better to do?" Then tell HR that you feel this is a form of sexual harassment, if they don't desist.
20. You should have told them to quit bullying the other children (as often as necessary), then left it up to them to decide to move elsewhere. If the parents then objected, tell them that if they can't keep their kids in line, you will make sure the others are safe.
21. They probably wouldn't have given it to you if they couldn't afford it. (Are they showing signs of dementia?) If you really feel bad about taking it, or think they can't afford it, convince your husband to put it into a CD, which you can use to help them if they run out of money.
22. NAQ
2. The girl was correct. Perhaps she could have phrased it better, but if the family must choose sides, I hope you choose on basis of ethics rather than inheritance.
3. This may well be a deal-breaker, and you need to tell her if it is. Why it's okay to have sex with her boyfriend but not her husband, is what you need to focus the discussion toward.
4. It's awkward for many people to fool around in their parents' homes. Tell him if you compromise and use a hotel, then he needs to insure you return to the house early enough to perform your usual agreed-upon chores.
5. NAQ
6. He wouldn't have kept them for so long had he not wished to share them, or he would have left a rider on his will stipulating what to do with them. Such journals are boons to historians, as they detail ordinary cusstoms which are usually considered to be too mundane to mention anywhere else.
7. Being a minor does limit your options. Enlist your parents' help with this, or the owner of whichever house the festivities are in. Explain thatyou need a few minutes now and then to regroup, and that you can be much better company if this is allowed. They can then stand guard and redirect anyone heading toward your room. (Announcing a walk means everyone else will want to come along. Homework means they'll tell you to put it off or offer to help.)
8. Respecting each other's individual differences is a wonderful way to show respect. Love him the way he needs to be loved, not the way you want him to love you.
9. Who picks the "child" each year? Perhaps it's time to specify some preferences about the child you will be sponsoring - such as under a certain age. This young man may be mentally handicapped and forever a child. Consider purchasing a good, used system.
10. Be honest. Maybe he will learn to be, as well. Tell him you found out he is still actively looking for someone else, so you have decided to, as well. An e-mail break-up is also acceptable in this situation.
11. You did nothing almost any other young child would not have done, including the lie you told. You and your friend should probably not have been unattended in the front yard at that age, until you both knew how to safely cross a street. Your parents probably should have found you a counsellor for a few session to sort out your grief and confusion. Since they did not, please do so now.
12. Assume MIL is losing her marbles, and let it go. Have her looked at by a competent gerontologist if you think she really is.
13. NAQ, but we never took on this type of charity, as the kids usually wanted things we couldn't afford to get our own family, much less one child.
14. NAQ
15. NAQ
16. NAQ. I won't add my other thoughts about Pru's response.
17. Please break up with her and tell her in breaking up that abuse is abuse. If you breed with her, your children will be given this same line of bull; but she'll tell them how it's okay for parents to hit children for discipline, but not the other way around.
18. Don't mention it. It will only bring up unpleasant memories.
19. Say, "don't you have anything better to do?" Then tell HR that you feel this is a form of sexual harassment, if they don't desist.
20. You should have told them to quit bullying the other children (as often as necessary), then left it up to them to decide to move elsewhere. If the parents then objected, tell them that if they can't keep their kids in line, you will make sure the others are safe.
21. They probably wouldn't have given it to you if they couldn't afford it. (Are they showing signs of dementia?) If you really feel bad about taking it, or think they can't afford it, convince your husband to put it into a CD, which you can use to help them if they run out of money.
22. NAQ
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Early morning Sage
Today's Seekers may be found here: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2011/11/help_i_m_too_pretty_for_my_own_good_.html
1. The Sage wonders whether this is truly a complain, or whether you are engaging in self adulation. Spend less time worrying about these comments and do your work. Some fawning on the part of others no doubt contributes to your success; however, this is fleeting. More importantly, you must learn to distinguish between joviality and solemnity.
V. The Sage commends you on your practicality in recognizing that your dog will likely predecease you, but would remind you that if you are approaching the halfway point in your life, so will half of the people youcare about. Unless you also dwell on the future funeral plans for your parents and other loved ones, try to enjoy your canine companion while you may. On a more cheerful note, it is entirely possible that you will actually predecease your dog.
2. The Sage would remind you that you are now an adult and have options other than returning to your parents to feed you for this holiday. You may, with the Sage's blessing, inform them that you have other plans this year. If you parents have other redeeming qualities, or if you have other relatives who regularly gather to be with them, consider going every two or three years, but make it clear that as an adult, it is now tome to begin making your own holiday traditions. Perhaps this will include assisting at a community celebration which includes those who have less for which to be thankful.
3. The Sages suggests that you tell your husband, "I take the bus in order to save us money, while Elaine has a good job and can afford to get her own car waxed." Explain that this is one favor too many for your marital comfort. In the Sage's long existence, never has the Sage has an automobile waxed, yet the Sage's modes of transportation have always looked clean and lustrous.
4. The Sage will permit you to be less of a good listener with you safe and privileged crowd, provided that once one of these individuals does face an actual crisis, you remain available to comfort them. Naturally, finding a different crown with which to hang is also perfectly acceptable.
1. The Sage wonders whether this is truly a complain, or whether you are engaging in self adulation. Spend less time worrying about these comments and do your work. Some fawning on the part of others no doubt contributes to your success; however, this is fleeting. More importantly, you must learn to distinguish between joviality and solemnity.
V. The Sage commends you on your practicality in recognizing that your dog will likely predecease you, but would remind you that if you are approaching the halfway point in your life, so will half of the people youcare about. Unless you also dwell on the future funeral plans for your parents and other loved ones, try to enjoy your canine companion while you may. On a more cheerful note, it is entirely possible that you will actually predecease your dog.
2. The Sage would remind you that you are now an adult and have options other than returning to your parents to feed you for this holiday. You may, with the Sage's blessing, inform them that you have other plans this year. If you parents have other redeeming qualities, or if you have other relatives who regularly gather to be with them, consider going every two or three years, but make it clear that as an adult, it is now tome to begin making your own holiday traditions. Perhaps this will include assisting at a community celebration which includes those who have less for which to be thankful.
3. The Sages suggests that you tell your husband, "I take the bus in order to save us money, while Elaine has a good job and can afford to get her own car waxed." Explain that this is one favor too many for your marital comfort. In the Sage's long existence, never has the Sage has an automobile waxed, yet the Sage's modes of transportation have always looked clean and lustrous.
4. The Sage will permit you to be less of a good listener with you safe and privileged crowd, provided that once one of these individuals does face an actual crisis, you remain available to comfort them. Naturally, finding a different crown with which to hang is also perfectly acceptable.
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