Thursday, February 4, 2010

Marital Sage

Today's Seekers may be found here:

1. The Sage agrees that by all means your wife should be punished for not recognizing that the man she was momentarily attracted to so long ago would have a brother whom she would ultimately marry. Naturally, it is unforgiveable that she would ever have passed in the night a ship which docked near yours. Enlist the aid of the media. Rent several billboards exposing her for the temprtress she is, and by all means, visit your children's classes at school or daycare to explain to them what "harlot" means, along with several pictures of your wife. Anyone should recognize that your feelings in the years to come were - and are - suprememly more important than the youthful actions of a young woman with no obligations.

2. By all means, the Sage is positive that you should bare all. Perhaps the previous Seeker will have some spare space on some of his billboards advertising his own wife's shameless behavior on which you may broadcast your own. The present is meaningless. You definitely need to live as far back in the past as humanly possible.

3. The Sage understands that you fail to comprehend exactly what this loss means to your husband. The Sage divines that he was a well-respected professional in his earlier life, and is now reduced to the level of a well-kept but doddering uncle. Encourage your husband to recognize how far he has come. Assure him that your love and respect for him remains, regardless of how much farther he is able to come. Confirm to him that you are willing to help him regain as much of his former life as he can. Additionally, invite former associates to come and cheer him up. Perhaps if they invite him to activities which will get him out of the house and active again, his depression will be somewhat lifted. A support group for each of you also might be in order.

4. The Sage knows that your husband needs to remind his manager that if he continues to work for this company without remuneration, that your husband may be bringing in the next sob story. Additionally, this good hearted man neeeds to be reminded that not only does charity begin at home, but that the chain may well be in violation of many labors laws. Permit the manager to give away his own resources, provided that your husband's labors are not in vain.


  1. re LW1: I was wondering why the sage used the word "temptress" rather than the clearly more appropriate "harlot". But my faith in the wisdom of the Sage was rewarded, when I realized this was simply part of the Sage's fine literary skills. She is wise, and she expresses herself wisely.

  2. Oh Sage,

    Your wisdom pours forth. I only hope these lost souls who seek wisdom follow The Sage's advice!


  3. Bwah ha ha! Living in the past is rocking advice.