Friday, February 26, 2010

The Sage on being a Grup

Warning: If you are looking for a chuckle, this is not the post in which to find it.

When the Sage was only a Disciple in knee robes, the Sage read an article stating that most Grups* have forgotten what it felt like to be a child, and that only those Grups who made a conscientious effort to do so really did well at recalling this. The Sage, therefore, made a conscious decision then and there to maintain a sense of the childlike thoughout life. This generally has been a positive; although, on occasion it has made it difficult to respond appropriately as a Grup.

This weekend, the Sage must be a Grup. One of the Sage's favorite Mentors has left for another plane of existence. Tonight, the Sage made the Grup-ly visit to see the Minions left behind. Tomorrow, many individuals, both sage and unwizened, will gather to send the Mentor upon her way, and to comfort each other in the darkness left behind from the extinguishing of so bright a candle.

As Mentors go, this was truly one of the finest. Unlike the Sage, this Mentor never had a bad word for any Soul. When others of this world were unkind, the Mentor was more apt to respond with confusion than with anger. Literal hundreds, and perhaps thousands, of lives were touched by the Mentor. Who could hope to do better?

The Sage marvels sadly at the truth of the axiom that only the good die young. This Mentor had many long years ahead, but was cruelly snuffed out prematurely by a Darkness which crept upon her unaware. Meanwhile, one of the vilest malefactors the Sage has ever had misfortune to know goes on strongly, approaching the century mark. The Sage is both saddened and angered by the unfairness of this certainty, that it does indeed rain on both the good and the evil; but the evil, it seems, are often provided with better umbrellas.

The Sage acknowledges that life goes on; although, a large part of the harmony in life's song has paled, at least for the moment. The Sage promises the many Seekers that the Sage's usual meditations upon matter more festive will return shortly.

*For those Seekers unfamiliar with the term Grup, kindly refer to the Star Trek episode entitled "Miri".

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Saging logs

The Sage must confess that these Seekers were quite tedious. The Sage must look for new Minions, with better discernment as to what constitutes a Sage-worthy endeavor.

1. The Sage is pleased that you didn't waste your time bothering to consult an expert in child psychology, as these lesser Advisors might merely confuse you. The Sage will helpfully advise you to question this boy about his deviant interest at every opportunity. When he stares at them in the stoer, be certain to loudly call him by his entire anme and say something like, "Homer Eustacious Klein! I've told you you can't have any more latex gloves to play with in your room!" This works especially well if friends, preferably of the opposite gender, of his happen to be in the store. In this way, you will be sure not only to drive this hobby underground, but as an added bonus, he'll want nothing further to do with you once he is old enough to leave home.

2. The Sage will go lightly on you, due to your apparent naivete. Inform your friend that you wish to keep you personal life and your work life completely separated. That is, you will not discuss work outside of work, and will only discuss work while at work. This should ameliorate your need to explain to your friend after hours why you were upset during the day. Once you have done this, begin immediately to seek another position, so that your friend may once more become only a friend.

3. The Sage fails to see any ethical delimma. Your roommate has caused no harm to your pet, and does not use an abusive tone with said pet. As long as the animal is happy, why should its human care exactly what is said to it?

4. The Sage feels that this may be a good opportunity for your friends to get to know one another. Unless you have reason to suspect that some of these people will take an instant dislike to each other, go ahead. Make the event as informal as possible, so that they aren't stuck eating dinner next to and making small talk with strangers all evening. If you could have some sort of icebreaker or other games planned, to pull out if needed, it should lessen any initial awkwardness.

Friday, February 19, 2010

The Sage considers movies

The Sage does not understand what has happened with the motion picture industry in recent years. Long ago, Hollywood had a rule, of sorts, that movie goers did not have the attention span to watch a movie over 100 minutes long. In reality, this tended to be how long people were able to sit.

Long movies have existed in the century or so that movies have been made. However, these tended to be in single- or double-screen movie houses, and intermissions were provide. The Sage believes that the movie industry is harming itself.

When movies are excessively long, many people choose to wait till they can rent the movie, rather than going to see the movie in the theater. This causes the theaters to sell fewer tickets. Even those moviegoers who do choose to bite the bullet and sit for 2 or even 3 hours in a darkened theater, tend to eschew the refreshments which are the bread and butter of most theaters. The Sage has long heard that the profits are not so much in the ticket sales, but in the consessions.

A customer who declines the purchase of concession is better able to sit through a lengthier movie. This greatly reduces the profitability of the theater in which the movie is shown. Also, if each movie is an extra half-hour longer, on average, then this also means that fewer movie goers can view even the greatest blockbuster on any given day.

Hollywood has begun to recognize this trend, the Sage believes. The quality of longer films seems to have improved greatly in recent months. Unfortunately for theater owners, this means that customers are even less likely to purchase concession. When longer movies were virtually guaranteed to have a long segment that was either boring or quickly explained to the absent viewer, moviegoers were able to plan on slipping out for a few moments during the film to relieve any discomfort caused by the ingestion of gigantic soft drinks, tubs of popcorn, and other tasty yet expensive treats. Now, there is concern that too much will be missed, so these purchases are put off until it is determined whether there is such a lull in the action.

While the Sage has immensely enjoyed these lengthier, high quality films, the Sage also fears that more theaters will discover that too many profits are lost to them. The Sage has noticed a number of quality, well-attended theaters which have simply shut down with little to no warning, and is convinced that it is the loss of concessions that has contributed to the demise of many.

The Sage would hope that Hollywood recognizes this trend, and either the manufacturers of these films will begin to make features of more manageable lengths, or will help theater owners discover a way to provide intermissions in these megaplexes which contain 10, 20, or even more screens. The alternates are movies which are priced well beyond the ability of many moviegoers - which they are approaching now - or having the best films being produced directly to BluRay.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Fraternal Sage

Today's Seekers may be found here:

1. You owe them nothing. Tell them you do not wish to be contacted again. End of story. The Sage further advises you to caution her that if she persists, you will first tell her exactly why you want no contact, before you obtain a restraining order.

2. The Sage recommends that you gather about your family friends of all ages, both of your husband's generation and of your own. As many of the younger me may be looking to your husband for employment, advice, loans, montoring, or whatever, I doubt he will experience the type of isolation you are experiencing.

3. The Sage suggests removing only the joint from the tatoo. It will be easier to explain to the children that your husband regrets the tatoo of the tiger, than that he also once condoned the use of marijuana. He can chalk off any scar remaining from removing the joint to being something that he got in the military, and let them imagine it is a battle scar.

4. The Sage concurs with the lesser Advisor on this one. However, the Sage also wonders why this was of such import that one would go to the trouble of approaching the Mystic Cave for an answer.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Hearts, flowers, and a sprig of Sage

1. The Sage recognizes a trick question when the Minions send one through. Assuming the husband is unaware of what is going on around him, such as not being sure who his wife even is, there is no one remaining inside to cheat on. Don't neglect him in the process, such as kicking her husband out of her bed in order to indulge her lover. However, beyond that, it is a matter of personal ethics. The Sage doubts that you, at least, have a Spiritual Advisor of your own, considering to whom you addressed your query. However, if your sweetheart does, she needs to consult this person to help her make a decision she can live with 10 years from now.

2. Lesser Advisors would suggest that you wait until after Valetine's Day, permitting a competitor to swoop in and sweep your cherished one off her feet. The Sage suspects that most girls would like a secret admirer. Where the plan tends to go awry is when the young lady decides who she believes bestowed the gift, only to express open disappointment when the true giver reveals himself. The Sage recommends that if you go through with this plan, that you permit no more than a few hours to transpire before unveiling the truth.

3. The Sage encourages you by all means to expose this mountebank immediately. This will ensure that that Alice will cut you entirely from her life, defend the man with all her being, and run away with him in order to spite you. Alternately, respect your mother's years of wisdom and familiarity with Alice, and accept her decision. It may be that Alice indulges the man's fantasies in order to add some excitement to both their lives, or even possible that like the husband in letter #1, Brian is in the throes of dementia.

4. The Sage would be remiss to permit you to continue in this manner. If you do not share this very important point with the young charmer, he will continue in his current manner for your entire relationship. The Sage suspect that even if you do, he will continue in this manner. However, losing one's early love is a far less danger than to live a life with someone whose core values appear to be so different from what you ultimately desire. The Sage would further point out that one's feelings are never "silly"; only what one does because of them may be.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Marital Sage

Today's Seekers may be found here:

1. The Sage agrees that by all means your wife should be punished for not recognizing that the man she was momentarily attracted to so long ago would have a brother whom she would ultimately marry. Naturally, it is unforgiveable that she would ever have passed in the night a ship which docked near yours. Enlist the aid of the media. Rent several billboards exposing her for the temprtress she is, and by all means, visit your children's classes at school or daycare to explain to them what "harlot" means, along with several pictures of your wife. Anyone should recognize that your feelings in the years to come were - and are - suprememly more important than the youthful actions of a young woman with no obligations.

2. By all means, the Sage is positive that you should bare all. Perhaps the previous Seeker will have some spare space on some of his billboards advertising his own wife's shameless behavior on which you may broadcast your own. The present is meaningless. You definitely need to live as far back in the past as humanly possible.

3. The Sage understands that you fail to comprehend exactly what this loss means to your husband. The Sage divines that he was a well-respected professional in his earlier life, and is now reduced to the level of a well-kept but doddering uncle. Encourage your husband to recognize how far he has come. Assure him that your love and respect for him remains, regardless of how much farther he is able to come. Confirm to him that you are willing to help him regain as much of his former life as he can. Additionally, invite former associates to come and cheer him up. Perhaps if they invite him to activities which will get him out of the house and active again, his depression will be somewhat lifted. A support group for each of you also might be in order.

4. The Sage knows that your husband needs to remind his manager that if he continues to work for this company without remuneration, that your husband may be bringing in the next sob story. Additionally, this good hearted man neeeds to be reminded that not only does charity begin at home, but that the chain may well be in violation of many labors laws. Permit the manager to give away his own resources, provided that your husband's labors are not in vain.