Saging out of the family

Today's Seekers are here:
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/02/raising_grandchildren_i_m_resentful_about_my_ruined_retirement_years_.2.html

 1. The Sage commends you on having such a wonderful life. How fortunate you are that, unlike your step-daughter, you have found a wonderful man with whom to live out your life. Naturally, putting your life on hold for 28 months or so is beyond reason for any person as generous and kind-hearted as you. Between your husband having reared the loser who bore this child and your own magnanimous attitude, she may be better off babysitting her half-siblings, after all.

2. The Sage agrees that this person enjoys the attention, which rather than compassion is why she had been so helpful. The Sage recommends that you have someone not currently dealing with such grief look up a number of internet articles about children the ages of your non-friend's brood, who are either dying from rare ailments, being arrested for heinous crimes, or whose whereabouts are unknown because of stranger abduction. When she begins her usual come-uppance, tell her that reminds you of an article your recently read, and send her a randomly selected link from this list.

3. The Sage wonders how another couple's copulation or lack thereof has become such fascinating fodder for discussion for you and yours. The next time either of these two mention their sex lives, you should suggest that a professional therapist would be much more appropriate a resource to help them with this segment of their lives than would the gossip fence or the grapevine. The Sage suspects that perhaps the marriage is not as sexless as you believe, but rather the couple felt there was no good way to announce to everyone that they had finally had sex. The rest of you need to drop the subject.

4. The Sage finds it interesting that you would consider an item that you made something to remember this woman by, instead of some object that she made or treasured. Certainly you consider that this was something she indeed treasured, and you thought of her while working on the quilt. Your request to have this item is not unreasonable, but it is unreasonable to expect your husband to get into the fight. Heirlooms, whether made, purchased, or found next to the neighbor's garbage receptacle, belong to the descendants of the deceased. If your husband wants the quilt for himself, then he should have been the one to ask for it.