Thursday, February 23, 2012

Self-serving Seekers

Today's Seekers may be found here:

1. The Sage concurs that your wife and her former coworker must be evil souls, for daring to become friendly with one another after years of interacting closely at work. You must pack up your young sons and move in with your aged mother while these two are partying at dull business meetins, as no other woman could possibly be good enough for you. This will also ensure that your sons grow up to be as confident and trusting as you obviously are.

(The Sage recently returned from a similar Pilgrimage in a warm location, travelling only with a coworker of the opposite gender - and approximately 5400 other Souls.)

2. The Sage wonders whether your definition of "shrug it off" differs from the Sage's. Generally, this means one has stated that something was of no great import. Perhaps your son is simply not a demonstrative adult. However, to ease your own mind, you must make the "long car drive" to his home and cammp upon his front door until your have forced him into the cathartic experience that apparently only you need. This will surely make him ever more eager to see you.

3. The Sage has met few Souls indeed who do not need the jobs they have. Even when there are employers aplenty begging for one person's services, that person usually needs at least one job. However, not all individuals are cut out for any given job. Someone who is magnificicent at programming or building a computer may have been a terrible surgeon. Give an honest evaluation of this employee, as this is the job for which you are being remunerated now. The Sage is grateful that you are not one of the Minions with your avowed lack of loyalty to your employer, even to the neglect of your current duties.

4. The Sage commends your on your delicate sensibilities, and think you have devised a magnificent plan to force your wonderful housekeeper to deny the call of nature when it strikes. This woman seems to be the definition of "regularity", and it is most assuredly better to force her to rush to a gas station to relieve herself before soiling herself rather than for you simply to providing a strong air freshener in the room which was designed for the purpose for which she is using it.

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