Today's Seekers are here: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/03/poisoned_meals_my_mother_in_law_may_be_trying_to_make_me_sick_.single.html#pagebreak_anchor_2
1. The Sage concurs. Your husband's mother most definitely is poinoning you to regain your husband's affections for your own. Your body certainly would not be responding to the stress you are under searching constantly for evidence of her evil designs. However, before you reciprocate, risking poisoning your husband and others in the process, invest in any electronic advice (and they are legion) which is capable of recording voices. Surrepitiously record the exchanges you have with this assassin, and with this evidence ask your husband to speak with his mother about how she interracts with you. In the meantime, employ the ancient technique of killing her with kindness, and offer to assume some of the kitchen duties so that she will not have an opportunity to cause you harm. The Sage is certain that this should at least reduce the poison that is flowing through your system. Also, get some one-on-one help from a trained professional.
2. The Sage recommends that you up the ante in superbness. When he states that something is super, agree that it is "super super". Alternately, model a variety of superlative adjectives in an effort to help his active vocabularity become superior to his present one. You should find that one of these methods works superbly. (The Sage agrees that foot picking is quite disgusting.)
3. The Sage will accept the role as your new therapist. Since you will not tell your current therapist the dark secret that shames you to the core, yet have told the Sage, the latter is obviously in a better position to assist you than your paid professional. Simply e-mail the Sage, whose Minions will send you instructions on how to transfer your funds directly to the Mystic Cave.
4. While the Sage is not in favor of lying to children, the Sage grants you permission to apologize to this couple in order to retain their friendship. An apology will give your or your wife the opportunity to discuss with them, when the child is not about, how much more difficult the truth will be when her friends tell her she is adopted, she denies it, they taunt her for her ignorance, and she finally figures out the truth. Long ago, couples went to great lengths to insure that an adopted child resembled the adoptive parent in order to hide the truth. An inter-racial adoption may leave the child wondering whether her mother had an affair if she is ignorant of the truth.
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A commenter has written the Sage to inform:
ReplyDelete"She is a professional dedicated to solving emotional needs
of the entertainment industry. A physical therapist
normally works in hospitals, nursing homes, out-patient clinics, and private offices that have specially equipped facilities.
Following that they must take two more exams under the
NBRC to become an RRT."
This non-Seeker has even provided a website of his/her own, which will not be passed along here, as this is the Sage's Mystic Cave, and not a public forum for other would-be Advisors. However, this particular Other Advisor obviously is incapable of grasping the finer points of satire.