This week's Seekers may be found here. http://www.slate.com/id/2250840/ The Lesser Advisor found at this site may miss to decide whether she wishes to become an endorse or wikipedia.org or dictionary.com. These evoke somewhat different levels of authoritativeness.
1. The Sage recalls this story. Didn't that star Sandra Bullock? No, wait, different plot.
By any means possible, you must do everything in your power to stop this man from taking this position. Many individuals have vivid dream, often relating to things one has discussed, overheard, glimsed - and often it turns out that the dreams have some similarity to events which actually occor in one's life. Because of this occasional happenstance, there is a small likelihood that something similar to your dream could occur, especially considering that people are still being killed in unstable political situations such as exists in Iraq. Camp on the gentleman's door. Inform your husband that your household will now be supporting this person's household. You must absolutely not allow him to live his life and to take a calculated risk to accept this position with what surely includes some hazardous duty pay. Certainly your husband and children will understand why you are so invested in this former love.
2. The Sage is a strong defender of the young. You say you manage to treat the boy with respect. This is a big plus in your favor. However, until you can graduated from showing respect to being able to find something in teh boy to like, you are correct not to wed the boy's father. Part of your dislike may well be a twinge of jealousy that your own child must share a father with this boy. This was your choice, and perhaps should have been considered before creating your own child. You are also correct that the boy probably hears negative things about you. You are still an outsider to the child. Give him some more time, making a concerted effort to relate to him. Perhaps when you see him and your own child beginning to bond, your maternal feelings will expand to include him.
3. The Sage insists that you and your colleague storm into the manager's office, clubs and torches in hand, to press him for permission to lynch whoever called for this seminar. Should you be remiss to do this, consider walking out en masse. The Sage does wonder what having gray hair has to do with etiquette. Perhaps management would be happier if each of died, off the clock of course, so that you could be replaced with younger and cheaper employees. You might be well advise in your next departmental meeting actually asking the manager what these features had to do with the stated subject.
4. The Sage realizes that you need to sell your car in order to participate fully in this young woman's wedding. If you won't be able to secure the entire amount this way, then you must consult with the bride to be to clarify what she meant by helping you with the expenses. If she indeed meant a loan, tell her that it would be irresponsible of you to incur such debt without knowing that you would be able to pay off the debt. Suggest that if she truly wishes your participation in this wedding, that perhaps you could work with her to scale back the expenses which would be incurred by the attendants. This is an extremely large sum for non-principals to be expending for to them is essentially a large party.