Thursday, July 22, 2010

Mixed bag of Sage

The Sage has but a moment to orate today, as the Mystic Cave needs to be cooled down soon. On to todays Seekers.

1. Our first Seeker works partially from home, where her new, unemployed husband is trying to begin a new business, which keeps him to busy to help with the chores, but not to busy to berate his bride over having not done them. Damage is being done to the home during these conversations.

The Sage recognizes your failings here, and admires you for acknowledging them. Certainly, you must continue to apologize for living the way you have been, even as you repair the damage in your home. Ignore the Lesser Advisors who would surely command you designate an area in your home for your work which is off-limits to your husband, or worse yet, to inform him that if the dishwasher bothers him so much, he is free to empty it himself. Resist those Advisors who would have you leave or toss your husband out. Whom else could he turn to once he is out of items in your home to destroy?

2. The next Seeker overdosed in college with the intention of suicide, and wonders whether the fiance is entitled to know.

The Sage insists that you bring this up at your next romantic encounter. What could possibly be more exciting than the thought of your betrothed retching heer guts out as she breathes her last? While this is a topic he needs to be aware of, lest these thought return perhaps with a new prescription, for instance, timing is everything.

3. Our third Seeker works in a cubicle with a mentally intense position, which her supervisor and other coworkers chat just beyond the cubicle wall. The Sage confesses to strong empathy here, as the Mystic Cave used to be next door, apparently, to Fox News headquarters.

The Sage recommends that you take a direct approach. When the coffee klatch appears on your ... er, cubicle step, ask in a loud voice, "Don't you have any real work to do?" An alternative phrase might be, "Excuse me, but some of us are trying to work!" Should this fail to be effective, and the Sage is convinced that it will not, go for a walk. Check back every few minutes to see if the group has broken up. If, after enough time, they have not, ask if they are nearly finished, so that you may get back to work. You could always go over your supervisor's head, but there is little satisfaction in that. The Sage suspects that your supervisor was promoted internally, rather than having been hired from outside or transferred from another department, and has not yet quite accepted the mantle of leadership.

4. Today's final Seeker has msigivings about a friend visiting, as teh friend berates the Seeker over the occasional use of air conditioning, even though it is ninety degrees outside on most days.
The Sage advises you, when you know your alleged friend is coming for a visit, to shut all the windows and turn off the air, so that the house gets as hot as can be during the day. Make sure pets and plants are somewhere safe first, however. When the friend arrives, sit inside to talk. Bring up the topics of children and elderly who have died because of excessive heat and the inability to turn on an air conditioner to cool their bodies. If the friend continues to insist that 90 degree weather is not a valid reason to cool the house, find a new friend.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Great Sage,
    I admire you even more for your fortitude for putting up with the windy noise of Fox News headquarters. How did you ever got them to go away from the Mystic Cave? I suspect you sent up a volcanic plume that dropped lots of little rocks and buried them?

    Love the way you sum up Letter 1, only a Sage could put it so succinctly!