Sunday, August 22, 2010

Bringing in the Sage

The Sage has had a truly busy schedule this summer, between dealing with a large bear in the Mystic Cave and having gone on Pilgrimage. As such, several quieter Seekers have waited patiently for a turn at hearing the Sage's Wisdom for their lives. The Sage will attempt to address some of the more pressing issues.

The first of this pair of Seekers is the wife in a blended family. She kisses her daughter on the cheek, but her husband kisses his own on the lips, which the Seeker finds to be a sensual action.

The Sage applauds your efforts to come between your husband and his small child. Most new wives suppress their jealousy of their husband's time, attention, and reminder of a previous sexual relationship, but you have permitted yours to flourish into a fully blooming paranoia. The Sage sees several possible actions. Murder the child and report her "missing", as other step-mother figures have done in the past. Continue your whisper campaign with your own daughter - whose age you conveniently have failed to specify - until your husband and his daughter both see how perverse this loving peck must be. Or you may continue to nag at the man in an attempt to he himself as a pedophile until he recognizes you for the jealous Harpie that you are and removes you from the lives of both himself and his daughter. Any of these will ensure that you no longer have to witness this lecherous behavior on the part of your husband.

The second Seeker in this early procession wishes to assist her new love and others with whom she has contact in their use of the English language.

The Sage commends your intention at preserving your native tongue in the form which it has had for ... well, not that long, actually. While it is the duty of English teachers and similar instructors to correct the pupils under their tutelage as to the proper form and function of each word and each sentence, it is the duty of a sweetheart to listen to the meaning behind the actual words. However, you certainly have the Sage's permission to correct each and every misstatement of both the man you are dating and any others whom you overhear abusing the language, provided that you do so in a clear, projecting voice which will draw this error to the attention of any within earshot. This should greatly minimize the poor grammar to which you are subjected.

Our next brace of Seekers begins with a teenager whose mother seems to feel is her confidante.

The Sage has compassion for you, as you are yet a child and being asked to assume a very adult role, which you recognize as extremely inappropriate for you. You fear hurting your mother's feelings, and the Sage knows that you must harbor some concerns about your livelihood should you push your mother away too hard. In situations like this, a close at hand school counselor may be your first line of defense. If this is not an opton or has proven unfruitful in the past, the Sage suggests that you let your mother begin her soliloquy, and gently interrupt. Practice phrases like, "I know you're angry with him, but he's still my father," and "I really don't think I'm the best person for you to discuss this with." After using one of your well-rehearsed phrases on your mother, excuse yourself from the room, even if you have just begun dinner. You won't enjoy a meal with this going on, anyway.

The Seeker chaperoning the teen to the Mystic Cave is a woman whose sister appears to undermine the Seeker at every opportunity.

The Seeker laments your unsettled childhood and bemoans your loss of a once close sister. However, as she has told you to "get over" your problems while remaining one of them, the Sage endorses you to sever as many ties with this woman as is necessary to maintain the physical health of your child, the emotional health of your fiance, and your own mental health.

As it turns out, there was not such a plethora of Seekers as the Sage had originally thought. One Seeker has actually attempted to return for a second opinion! However, the Sage has permitted Lesser advisors to deal with those lesser dilemmas. Those Minions simply must be disciplined over permitting such banal and redundant entreaties to come before the Sage!

However, other Seekers in need of the Sage's wisdom are invited to sidestep the Minions by contacting the Sage directly via Oracle.DelFly at The usual punctuation mark has been redacted to ellude robotic troublemakers. Seekers are also encouraged to consider additional Advisors to be found at

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