Thursday, August 5, 2010

Early morning Sage

Greetings, Seekers and Acolytes. The Sage is early to the mouth of the Mystic Cave, by virtue of being late to other duties. Alas. The Minions have been hard put to find worthy Seekers of late, but the Sage will still address these which have been found. Today's full entreaties may be found here Below is a fragment of each, followde by the Sage's counsel.

1. Our first Seeker has an adult daughter questing to find the Golden Father. The first candidate was considered father by default, as the other "proved" his sterility. However, the first candidate failed the DNA test.

The Sage commends you on creating this lengthy quest for the young woman. Nothing can compare to developing a reltionship with one's own father, only to find out that this is not so. How much more delighted she will be to discover that the other candidate managed to "prove" that he could not be he, yet must be. The Sage hopes that you have similar names and stories lined up after bachelor number 2, as it sounds like he will not be as willing to contempplat the possibility as bachelor number 1 was. The fact that neither wanted to step up to the plate to have "anything to do with" this young woman likely only serves her determination to force someone's hand. Give her the information she seeks. He can't be any worse than the first one.

Incidentally, the Sage has never heard of anyone requiring a blood test to be mentioned in a will before, and suspects this was merely the ploy he used hoping to get out of having to acknowledge her to his legally recognized family. The Sage wonders whether he indeed used his own DNA for the test, as some tests use samples collected at home and mailed in.

2. Our second Seeker is a law firm intern being harased by individuals from the law firm next door to her own.

The Sage cannot fathom why one should wish not to have their own outer beauty constantly acknowledged by such fine, outstanding men, and wonders how their firm came to be the larger one. Have you perhaps seen their associates in traffic, following rapidly behind out-going ambulances? The first impulse was the correct one. If an employee is being harassed at work, as you are, then it is up to the employer to collect any data and file any suits. Before you do this, however, you must inform the gentlemen that this attention is, indeed unwanted. It falls to the employee to gather data when the employer is remiss in these duties. You will not be perceived as a "little girl" by reporting this, but as a woman standing up for what you know to be your rights.

3. Our third Seeker has received a "friend" request from her octogenarian father, but does not wish him to see the Seeker's actual life.

The Sage wonders why you must so zealously shield your father from your real life. However, the Sage encourages you to use a small device that the internet makes readily affordable - the alter ego. Block your father from your primary Facebook account. Create a second one using an alternate e-mail. Inform your ffather that you use this address there in order to keep the spam e-mails to a minimum. You must block him from the other site, however, for this ploy to work. You might also enlist the help of a few others to maintain the appearance that this is the site you normally use, by posting comments of a G-rated nature every now and then.

4. Our last Seeker is perhaps the most touching in a while. The Seeker is divorced and engage to another divorced individual. However, a "friend" bemoans the fact that the happy coouple fails to argue with suffiecient frequency for the friend's liking.

The Sage implores you to remember that while you did have regular strong arguments with your first husband, you and he are no longer together. Different couples have different communication styles, and certainly the one in which neither one shouts nor demeans the other is in truth the healthiest for both parties involved. Ignore your "friend". Some people like to throw rocks at hornets nests and dislike seeing anyone happier than themselves.


  1. Oh, great Sage, one minor quibble. The LW's first husband is dead, not divorced from her...

  2. The Sage may need to clean out the conversation tube. Yes, the first husband is dead. However, the fights she had with him appear to be of a lesser frequency that the "friend" would have preferred. Perhaps the friend is jealous.

  3. Wow! A fake DNA test! Just like a fake infertility certificate!

    Only a Great Sage such as You could uncover such dastardly plots! And now you have to mete out punishment on those fasksters by making the daughter incredibly wealthy and famous --and she of course will not mention them or their other progeniture in her will,or invite them on her film sets and TV shows, etc....

    Ha! They'll be sorry and try to produce all sorts of newly faked DNA spitballs, but to no avail!