Spring Sage (kerchoo!)

Greetings, Seekers. The Sage apologizes for having been away from the Mystic Cave. The Seekers of last week, who may be found here http://www.slate.com/id/2252304/ positively flooded the Mystic Cave. The Sage was able to dash off a quick response during the evacuation, which may be found here http://fray.slate.com/discuss/forums/thread/3862486.aspx In addition, the bear inhabiting the Mystic Cave of late is fully out of hibernation, and its cubs have grown both large and curious.

The Sage will now address the short-answer Seekers found here. http://www.slate.com/id/2252792/

To the Seeker with the bare housemate: By all means create a scene. This is your home, and you have the right to determine who does what in it. Assert your rights, and demand that all your housemates conform to your sensibilities or that they all find another place to live this summer. After all, it would be better to room with 5 unknowns than to be the one fly in the ointment opposing this man's nudity.

To the Seeker with the nephew eager to bathe his cousins: Keep your children away from this boy. If you must be around him, insist that your children remain in your sight at all times. Better that you offend your family than you permit him to misuse your offspring. Share your concerns with the child's parents. This may well be a symptom of the boy himself having been sexualized, and your concerns may help them help him.

To the uninvited friend: You don't. It's not.

To the blushing bride: The Sage fails to comprehend why more people don't engage in annual renewal of vows, complete with gift registries. Certainly no one outside of invited guests to your wedding would welcome an announcement - as opposed to an invitation - or consider sending a gift without attending a formal ball, complete with 7-course dinner.

What? Another wedding question? And a non-invitation question at that! Spring fever must be in the air. As mentioned above, surely you would never consider sending your two friends a small wedding present with a congratulatory card. Obviously, that could only be taken for the insult which it must surely be.

The Sage doubts you could alienate any couple who manage international travel, yet fail to find funds to schedule a visit to the grandmother of their children, and who then extend such a warm welcome as to graciously permit you one full day with your grandchildren. Perhaps they were in need of a sitter that day? The Sage recommends that you let them know that you hope for a longer visit, considering the not-inconsiderable expense involved, and suggest that if that isn't workable for them, that the four of them come to visit you.

To the Seeker with the neurological condition: The Sage believes that the best way is to find a way to work this into casual conversation. For instance, before the two of you go out for a climb to the Mystic Cave, state that you must remember to take your medication before you leave. This opens the conversation for him to ask or for you to volunteer for what reason this medication is needed.

Skipping the chitchat to the Seeker of employment: Inform your friend that you didn't want to waste the time of the Human Resourrces personnel to interview you a position for which you felt unqualified or merely disinterested. The friend may have been trying to help you get your foot in the door of what is perceived as a good company, so don't bristle too strongly.

The Sage sees no reason not to ask how George is faring, if you've been on any sort of speaking relationship. He may be away on a trip, deployed, or hospitalized; and your concern may be appreciated. Be aware, however, that your kind thoughts may be taken as an excuse to debrief you on what "that louse" has done of late.

To the Seeker from Providence: Providence has brought you to the Sage, who recommends that you wear a paper bag over your head at all such events in the future.

The Sage has never condoned compromise, in which for instance you might get your small wedding and he his formal one. Put your foot down and tell him it's your way or the highway.

The Sage sees many options for a college student lacking direction. At the bottom of the list is forcing the student to continue studies which she has no interest in taking. The parents might require their adult child support herself for the year, or require that she do volunteer work in order to continue to enjoy their support, or perhaps work with the young woman to help her decide what would attract her attention. Poor interest reflects in poor grades, and forcing a student to attend often results in a dropout with no intention ever to return to school to complete a degree. Also consider having her take career guidance exams, to see if perhaps she'd have more interest in a different field of study.

The Sage must now return to the Lean-To. A strong breeze is coming up, and the Minions need direction on how best to shore up the temporary quarters.